


Through the Waste

by ButterfliesInMyBrain



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Brazilian Catra, Exes, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frenemies, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Disaster Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Sex, Minor Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Past Relationship(s), Pining, Road Trips, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, Smut, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29320617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterfliesInMyBrain/pseuds/ButterfliesInMyBrain
Summary: Catra needs to get to another city for a work appointment as soon as possible. But she really wasn't counting on spending the next 8 to 9 hours of her life stuck in a car with her estranged ex she hasn't seen for the past five years.What, I ask, could possibly go wrong?****This is a WIP, so I'm still figuring out where this is going, but I'll try to update it as regularly as I can! :)I'll update the tags as I go.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 110
Kudos: 137





	1. Bright Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I hope you are safe and well :)
> 
> Welcome to another chapter of: "me trying to fix my Catradora brainrot by diving deep into more Catradora content".
> 
> So while I was working on "The first five times", I had this thought of putting Catra and Adora in the same confined space for a long time so they could discuss their relationship issues. Also, I'm a sucker for road trip movies/stories and this felt like a good fit. I'm still figuring the plot points, but I'll try to update this as regularly as I can. 
> 
> In all my fics (that is, if I continue to write fics LOL), Catra will be Brazilian and Adora's sport of choice will be volleyball, even if it's not relevant to the plot itself, unless stated otherwise. Call that identification / projection, if you will :) 
> 
> English is not my first language, so bear with me - and please let me know if anything sounds awkward! 
> 
> If by any chance you read this, I would love to hear your thoughts about it, so don't be shy to post a comment :) Your comments are the best food for authors.
> 
> Whatever it takes us, I really hope you enjoy the ride (sorry, I have a thing for bad puns).

A fully packed duffel bag and a backpack await Catra on the living room floor, right next to the apartment’s front door. The tabby-pointed Siamese cat resentfully sniffs around the luggage, aware of what it means, as Catra’s feet march around the room in impatient random circles.

It’s a quarter past two, she should be on the road already. 

“Shit, that fucker’s late as _fuck_!”

Many stories have been told, fiction or otherwise, in which the main characters go on a journey, a trip or something of sort, and, in the process, they end up learning a hidden truth about themselves or the meaning of life, reaching their destination improved, grown and with shifted perspectives.

“What was that?! Who’s late?”

Yeah, I should warn you that this probably won’t be that kind of story.

“What do you mean, _who_ ’ _s_ _late_?” Catra shouts as she checks the time on her cell phone for the millionth time, as if reality could magically rewind itself if she kept looking at the screen long enough. As the desired outcome never seems to come, she grinds her teeth and keeps on walking from side to side in invisible rhythm. “My ride, genius, the one _you_ arranged for me. She said she would be here right after lunch”.

Catra knows she’s being unnecessarily mean and regrets the irritation in her tone. Her roommate’s _not_ the person she wants to kill right now but being the person closest to Catra during her momentary burst of anger, Scorpia ends up as innocent collateral damage.

This is precisely why Catra hates depending on other people.

For most of her nearly 30 years of life, this bronze-skinned girl with different colored eyes has had a disappointing run when it comes to expecting good things from other human beings, perhaps with the sole exception of, well, Scorpia – which is one of the main reasons why they ended up living together, despite having widely different personalities.

Scorpia was the person who found Catra a ride when her car capriciously decided not to start this morning – which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Catra chose to ignore that weird blinking light on the dashboard instead of taking it to a mechanic, but that is yet to be established. Her roommate may have saved her career, but none of that would matter if her ride decided not to show.

After another moment of useless frustrated grunts, Catra goes to her roommate’s door and leans against it. “Can’t you text your stupid friend and find out if she got lost or died in the Whispering Woods or something? If we don’t leave right about _now_ , we’ll never make it through the Waste in time”. She does her best to lower her tone, although her aggravation is still quite evident.

Catra has a good reason to be concerned about her ride’s tardiness.

Without taking traffic into account, it would be at least an eight-hour drive to the ancient city of Arxia, where she was to meet her coworkers to take the ferry to Beast Island – her final destination, home of Etheria's highest security prison – tomorrow afternoon. Considering only the distance, there would be plenty of time for her to get there, but there was an additional obstacle. The quickest route to Arxia was through the Crimson Waste, a desertic region under curfew from 9 P.M. to 5 A.M. due to recent carjacking incidents in the area. So, if one wanted to get to Arxia without making any additional stops, leaving early is a high priority.

Catra’s also eager because it’s been a while since she received a job that gave her the opportunity to leave town for a few days – and she sure needed that from time to time, even when the task itself was less than pleasant, as is the case. More than often, life gets too claustrophobic between the law firm and that tiny two-bedroom apartment, especially because the person Catra’s currently living with is an expansive extrovert with little to no sense of personal boundaries.

Speaking of which, Catra finds Scorpia doodling at her desk, in a chair that’s way too small for her gigantic figure to fit appropriately – having such a broad and beefy body comes with costs that defy all standard furniture dimensions, apparently. Her roommate looks at her from a pile of unfinished sketches on the table, runs a hand through her short white hair, then grimaces.

“Gee, wow, you’re right! She _is_ running late! _Hah-_ I can’t believe it’s already past two!” She chuckles, then stands up from her seat. “Heck, time sure flies when you’re having fun, doesn’t it, Wildcat?”, Scorpia adds, nodding at her doodles with a dimwitted smile on her face. Catra glances at her roommate’s desk. The drawings don’t look great at all, but compared to her previous attempts, Catra must admit that she is making considerable progress for a newcomer.

“Sure, but can we focus on _my_ _very urgent_ problem?”

“Of course! Say no more, I’ll get to that right away!” She reaches for her phone. “Except… I have to say Glimmer’s not really my _friend_ , no. Yeah, truthfully, we’re just on the same ridesharing group on Telegram”.

Catra’s pupils blow wide and her friend forces a smile.

“But she seems super nice and all!”, she continues, “I’m sure that you’re going to bond right away, you’ll see!”.

Needless to say, the tenebrous prospect of _bonding_ with anyone, let alone someone called _Glimmer_ , is the least of concerns on Catra’s mind right now.

“Ugh, whatever, I should have never agreed to this”, Catra grunts, aware that she’s paying the price for all the times she thought _‘it’s probably nothing’_ and _‘I’ll take it to the mechanic tomorrow’_.

Yes, children, this is what you get when you put off boring responsibilities for too long: you end up _late_ for a vital work appointment, at the mercy of a stranger with a ridiculous name that your clueless roommate found at the eleventh hour.

“She’s probably on her way right now”, Scorpia says reassuringly as she types a message on her cell phone. “Oh, but do you think if I text her it may cause an accident?” She stops typing and takes her hands to each hip. “Well, _hah_ – We certainly wouldn’t want _that_ , would we?”

“ _Scorpia!_ ” The broader woman turns to look at her with a timid look on her face; she sighs, once more trying to get her temper under control. “I’m sorry for yelling, but can you please try to get this Glitter individual or whatever on the phone?”.

“Alright, alright! Gee!”, Scorpia begins to type again. “Although, I’m pretty sure her name’s _Glimmer_ …”

That’s when the intercom rings and Catra silently thanks the universe for preventing her from committing an impulsive act of violence against an innocent and overall fine specimen of the human race. “About fucking time!” she shouts, making her way to the intercom next to the door and pressing the button. “Yeah?”

 _“Hi, there’s someone here for Scorpia”_ , Juliet, the doorwoman, politely announces.

“Yeah, yeah, tell her I’ll be there in a sec”, Catra hurriedly responds, picking up her bags from the floor then turning to her roommate. “Hey, thanks, I guess it all worked out in the end”.

“Awww, I’m gonna miss you, Wildcat!” Scorpia goes towards her to give her one of her inescapable, tight hugs.

“Geez, you sound like I’m going off to war or something, it’s only for a few days”, Catra chuckles, trying to break free from Scorpia’s arms as gently as possible. “Also, don’t forget to apply the eye drops to Melog at seven”, she says as she unlocks the door chain, then the door itself.

“Oh, sure, sure, sure, absolutely”, Scorpia replies nervously. “Yep, I can completely handle that, I don’t have a problem with that task _at all_ ”, she adds with a panicky laugh, helping Catra take her bags out into the hall.

“You’re a fucking crybaby, that only happened _once_ ”, Catra rolls her eyes. “If you’re too afraid he’ll scratch you again, take him to the vet and she’ll apply the drops, alright? There’s a refrigerator magnet with her phone and address”, Catra concludes while waiting for the elevator, the cat absently licks his paws by the apartment door, his back turned to both of them.

“ _Phew_!” Scorpia says, sliding her finger across her forehead in relief, then opening a sincere smile. “Much better, thanks! I’ll do that when I get off work. Have a fun trip!”

“I’m questioning a crime boss for a case, Scorpia, I don’t think I’m supposed to have fun”, Catra sneers as the elevator arrives.

“Well, in that case, just… Question the fudge out of that guy! Yep! Break a leg or whatever the equivalent correspondent for questioning a convicted felon is!”, Scorpia says as she helps Catra get her bags inside the elevator. “You know, good luck!”

“Thanks”, she smiles, the elevator door starts to close. “I’ll see you soon”.

“Let me know when you get there!” is the last thing Catra hears before the old elevator starts moving down.

Catra’s been living with Scorpia for almost a year now, ever since they met at the gym where the latter works as a personal trainer and the former practices kickboxing to blow off steam. At the time, Catra had been admitted to a law firm as junior in-house investigator and was looking for a place closer to the office, whereas Scorpia needed someone to split the bills with.

She still has a hard time handling her roommate's constant and somewhat excessive need to display her affection, but, with time, the big-hearted personal trainer became the closest thing to a best friend Catra has had in a long time – and probably the only person she could tolerate enough to share an apartment.

That hasn’t always been the case, though. If you go back a little further in Catra’s past, you would find that there once was a person with whom she thought of sharing much more than just an apartment.

The blonde who waltzed into Catra’s life back when they worked weekend night shifts at the Blue Blanket diner to help pay the bills during the first years of college; the idiot jock-type with fiery blue eyes and silly ponytail who found her way to Catra’s heart and managed to get a hold of its key, just to leave it behind in tiny broken pieces.

Almost five years have passed since that almost-relationship turned to shit – well, four years, ten months and thirteen days, to be accurate – and Catra’s life is so different now that most memories she has of that time seem like a story she heard from someone else.

Most, but not all. There are those specific memories she recalls with far too much detail, ones that she only wishes she could be able to forget. The night they met, the meteor shower in the clear Etherian sky, the sound of her laugh. The way her lips would twitch and her eyes would spark when they were about to kiss, the muffled moans in the utility closet during their ten-minute breaks, that one time they were caught while she had her head between Catra’s legs in the storage room.

All the secrets, all the whispers, all the plans, all that could have been and wasn’t. Those little fragments of another life would pay her a visit every once in a while, emerging in flashes triggered by a scent, a song, a color or a word, like ghosts from a past love that insisted to keep her company even though she didn’t ask for it.

Fortunately, those memories are not on Catra’s mind right now. Right now, she is focused on advancing her career, securing her autonomy, saving money for a new bass and perhaps moving to her own place in the foreseeable future. Right now, she carries her bags to the entrance hall of the building, mentally doublechecking if she brought all essential items for the trip – toothbrush, cigarettes, vaper, cell phone charger. Right now, she greets the doorwoman and thinks about the long, boring way to Arxia and how she would probably pretend to be sleeping so she wouldn’t have to interact with this Shimmer person until it was her turn to take the wheel.

What matters is ahead of her. Not behind.

Catra spots the red jeep parked by the sidewalk, checks the license plate then the pair of long legs in jeans sticking out of the car trunk. She sighs, preparing herself for some harsh long hours of meaningless interaction, keeping in mind that she should at least try to be nice to the stranger who basically saved her day by giving her a ride.

 _What kind of idiot does that, anyway?_ , Catra wonders, chuckling to herself.

Who in their right mind would promptly agree to share a vehicle with someone they haven’t met, at the very last minute, with no reference or questions asked? Well, Catra can see why Scorpia would do it, it fits her generous, optimistic and somewhat naïve persona perfectly. But other than her roommate, she can’t imagine who would be willing to do that.

And then, as the driver’s face surfaces from behind the car, unruly strands of blond hair cascading over their pinkish face, almost covering their expressive blue eyes, Catra realizes with a shiver down her spine that she used to know someone who would absolutely do such a thing.

********

**_SIX YEARS AGO_ **

_It was dark and quiet at the back of the Blue Blanket diner, except for the moonlight and the distant sound of music that was playing inside. Catra had her back against the wall, next to the employees’ entrance door, thoroughly enjoying the ephemeral peace of having a cigarette in the end of a week filled with pointless chores and boring assignments._

_The door opened, ruining that moment of solitude, the uncomplicated sticky melody of an upbeat Taylor Swift song interrupting Catra’s thoughts._

_“There you are”, Octavia said with that obnoxious tone of hers, her dumb face sticking out from the door. “I need to talk to you”._

_“My shift doesn’t start for another ten minutes”, Catra unenthusiastically answered, without turning her face to look at her manager, while taking a drag of her cigarette._

_“Keep up that attitude and it might be your last one”._

_With a roll of her eyes, Catra turned to face her boss. “Okay, what is it?”_

_“I have this thing I have to do, so I’m about to head out. But the new girl’s coming for tonight’s shift and I need you to show her around”._

_“Great”, Catra said ironically. “You know how much I suck at babysitting. Why don’t you ask Lonnie to do it?”_

_“Because Lonnie didn’t show up late three days in a row this week”, Octavia announced with a sadist grin of triumph. “Anyway, have her shadow you for the night, tell her how everything works, maybe even get her to take an order or two, nothing much. It’s pretty slow tonight, so it shouldn’t be an issue”._

_“If you say so”, she said, blowing the cigarette’s smoke slightly at Octavia’s direction._

_“While you’re at it, remember it’s your turn to clean the ice cream machine, take out the trash and mop the floors. You know, since you didn’t do that yesterday like I told you to”._

_“Sure”. Catra forced a smile._

_“I expect to find everything in order when I get here tomorrow, Catra”._

_“Yeah, yeah, I know, whatever”. She put out her cigarette. “Anyway, what’s the new girl’s name?”_

********

“Adora”, Catra gulps, dropping her bag to the sidewalk; mouth dry, eyes wide, her body stiffening at the sight of the woman she last encountered four years, ten months and thirteen days ago. Except from those barely repressed dreams that she would never admit to having on a regular basis, Catra didn’t think she would have the opportunity to see her again.

And yet here she is, in the flesh, blond hair – down and loose, as it should always be –, white tank top, jeans and boots. Time has clearly passed, but aside from increasing her muscle mass and gaining some expression marks, she looks pretty much the same as when they first met.

She may be an apparition from a past love, but whatever Catra’s feeling right now is very present. The urgency to get to Arxia becomes irrelevant all of a sudden, drowning under the myriad of conflicting synapses and sensations confusing her senses.

From the looks of it, she’s not the only one who’s seen a ghost.

Adora’s jaw drops and her face turns pale – so pale that, for a moment, Catra thinks that she’s about to pass out. Fidgeting fingers, pupils blown, a slight stutter.

“Catra”, is all Adora manages to say, almost like a gasp of disbelief. She creases her eyebrows, then opens a small, skeptical smile. “Hey, it’s – I…”. The smile on her lips grows wider and softer as her blue eyes find Catra’s cerulean and gold ones – but then she quickly looks away to the car trunk, leaning her hand against the lid with recomposed indifference. “I can’t believe it’s you”.

Catra scoffs, “Yeah, well, right back at ya”, she retrieves her pack of cigarettes from the back pocket of her jeans. “When… W-when did you get back?”.

“Hm, no more than a few weeks ago”, Adora goes back to the car trunk to make room for the extra set of bags coming on its way. “I’m still settling in the neighborhood, though, everything’s quite different from where I used to live… Last time around”.

“Things change. Five years is a long time”, Catra replies a little more casually and relaxed now, concealing her discomfort behind the smoke of her cigarette. “And what exactly _are_ you doing here, if you don’t mind me asking?”, she sneers with a dash of disdain.

“I’m picking up someone”, she shoots a quick look at Catra’s bag on the sidewalk. “Unless… Maybe you know Scorpia? Are those her things?”

“Yeah – but… No, that’s not what I mean”, _idiot_. “What are you doing _here_. Back in Etheria. In Bright Moon, of all places”.

“Oh! Sorry!”, the blonde’s cheeks turn pink and Catra immediately curses herself when realizing that she still gets a very distinctive kick out of being able to make Adora blush like that.

“I, _uh_ – I transferred back. I’m completing my Ph.D. here. At BMU”.

There’s a common saying that, before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Maybe that explains why Catra feels that she must be dying now, because she’s currently watching a feature-length film made from all those small pieces of memories combined.

She’s blown away by the weight of everything that has happened between them, everything that has been left unsaid, all the feelings she didn’t get to express with actual words – out of fear, out of pride, out of stupidity, it doesn’t fucking matter now.

But she’s also hurt, angry and _desperate_ to know exactly _what the fuck has changed_.

Five years ago, grad school at Bright Moon University seemed like the second-best choice for Adora’s future, a possibility she wouldn’t even consider, almost as she couldn’t wait to leave – the city, the state, and their complicated friendship with benefits, for lack of a better term.

Whatever they used to have, it sure wasn’t enough of a reason for her to stay in Etheria.

Now she’s just… Back?

Why? For what?

Catra feels her chest being pulled in many opposite directions.

But she remembers that none of that should matter.

Adora shouldn’t matter.

She swallows those thoughts and steadies her heart with another long drag of her cigarette.

She values her dignity far too much to give Adora the satisfaction of knowing she’s able to make her feel so uneasy, and especially that, after all this time, she’s still able to fill Catra’s chest with so many feelings by merely existing in front of her.

“Good for you”, she says, keeping her mind from travelling back to a different time, when Adora used to share her bed, as there are other, much present issues to attend to. Arxia. Her very important work engagement. She looks at the car and lets reality pull her back. “Wait, hang on, I thought the person picking me up… I mean, picking _Scorpia_ up, was supposed to be called Glitter or whatever”.

“Uh – Yeah. _Glimmer_ is… She’s a friend of mine”. Catra has the impression that she knows _that_ kind of friend, as she used to be one. “She was coming with me to Arxia, too, but she had a last-minute personal issue and — uh. Well, she won’t be able to join… Us”, at that last part, Adora frowns again, nearly asking a question instead of making a statement. “That’s why I’m super late, by the way, you know how much I hate that”.

Adora lets the intimacy they used to have slip out of her mouth so naturally, for a moment it feels like they never spent a single day apart.

Catra snorts, starting to find some humor in the bizarre, serendipitous situation the universe arranged for her today. “Of course”, she adds with a note of bitterness. “Being late was more of my thing. _Your_ thing was leaving early”.

The blonde raises an eyebrow and shoots her a somewhat surprised, somewhat offended look at the retort; Catra knows she’s crossed a line, recognizing how Adora’s eyes still light up when something hits her too close to home. She opens a shy smile, which comes across as a little nostalgic. “I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor”, she sighs.

“Yeah, well… Some things didn’t change, I guess”.

“I’m sure”, another smile. “And Scorpia?”

“Oh, yeah. We live together”, Catra replies nonchalantly, aware of her deliberate choice of words. Deep down, she knows that she shouldn’t be doing this; it _does_ feel wrong. But teasing Adora and finding new ways to get under her skin used to be her all-time favorite sport back when they were coworkers slash friends slash lovers.

And like riding a bike, she quickly eases her way back into it.

Now that the adrenaline boost caused by their unexpected reunion has started to fade, what remains in place is the bittersweet aftertaste of their long-gone familiarity. Turns out that having Adora right in front of her, even though it hurts in the most painful and meaningful of ways, fills her with a kind of chaotic raw energy that she hasn’t felt in such a long time – and Catra’s reluctantly starting to realize how much she’s missed it.

“Oh! Great. Okay. Uh. Live together as in — _uh_ ”. _Damn_. Fuck, that’s it. They might not know each other anymore, they might not even be the same people, but somehow it’s still _there_. Catra watches it happen as Adora awkwardly searches for a hole to hide her face on the floor and she just _knows_ she still has some kind of effect on her. And even if that’s all there’s left from their prior connection… It’s worth hanging on to. “Never mind, when is she coming down? We really should get going”, she babbles nervously, moving towards the duffel bag on the sidewalk. “Also, can I put her stuff in the trunk?”

Oh, yeah, there’s still _that_.

“Wait!”, Catra yells as they both go for the bag at the same time. Adora jumps back reflexively to avoid any kind of accidental physical contact between them, and her ass bumps into the jeep.

“ _Ow_!” She glances at Catra with a confused expression, nearly panting.

“Yeah… So… There’s one thing you should know”.

“What is it?”

“The ride was not for Scorpia. I’m the one who needs to get to Arxia. I mean… Only me”.

Adora gasps and her lips part in surprise, her cheeks turn red, her breath catches. “Oh”. Her bewilderment lasts for five solid seconds, after which she bursts out laughing.

Unfortunately for Catra, Adora’s laugh is still one of the most pleasing sounds she has ever heard.

“Uh… At least one of us thinks this is funny”, Catra says.

“Sorry, it’s just that – Why didn’t I see that coming?”, she giggles. “I’ve seen this film before”.

And as if she could read Adora’s mind, Catra is transported back to the first time they met.

********

**_SIX YEARS AGO_ **

_It was almost 7 P.M and the place was oddly empty for a Saturday evening. Lonnie was waiting on the only occupied table, Catra was taking the free time to work on her essay on Foucault’s Discipline and Punish for the Law, Crime and Culture class she was taking that semester – which was more of a priority to her than manually disassembling and cleaning that stupid soft serve ice cream machine for three hours._

_Idiotic Kyle grilled a burger while mouthing the words to a sappy love ballad that was playing on the radio and trying to… Well, do something too pathetic to qualify as dancing._

_When the bell rang, Catra promptly looked at the diner’s door, catching a glimpse of the young blonde that had entered the place. Cute – you know, for a blonde. Hopefully a good tipper, Catra thought with renewed interest. She tied that silly apron around her waist, put up a fake smile and prepared to take her order._

_But then the girl leaned over the counter to introduce herself._

_“Hey, guys! Hello! Good evening! Uh – I’m Adora, I’m supposed to be starting here today”. Oh. Right. No tip, then. Catra’s interest decreased significantly. “So… Is one of you guys Octavia? I’ve been told to look for her”._

_She had flawless skin and perfect ponytail, a dopey smile dancing on her face. If she were a girly girl, she would have reminded Catra of one of those classic Disney Princesses – gullible, dumb and perhaps too worried about being perfect._

_Maybe that was why a villainous idea crossed her mind._

_“I think Octavia’s —”, Kyle started to answer while incompetently trying to flip a burger._

_“Here”, Catra said, raising her voice and coming closer to the counter._

_“Wait, wha –“, Kyle gulped and stopped talking when he noticed the murderous glare Catra was sending his way._

_“Yeah, I’m Octavia”, Catra continued._ _“Adora, right?”_

_“Yes! Hi, it’s so good to finally meet you!”_

_She looked so eager to please, Catra found it infuriating._

_“Sure, likewise”, Catra replied, showing Adora the way around the counter with a hand gesture. The blonde followed her lead and they shook hands – hers were soft and delicate, the hands of someone who probably had never had a day of hard labor in their life. “So… Do you have any previous experience with this kind of job?”_

_“Uh… No, not really – But I’m a quick study!”._

_“We’ll see about that. Do you think you’re up for a heavy start?”_

_“Not a problem! Whatever you need me to do, I’m your guy”, she took her hands to each hip and then opened a smug beam._

_“That’s… Good to know”, she smirked in response, noticing how Adora’s face and neck reddened slightly when their eyes met._

_“Come on, I’ll show you around”, Catra turned around and indicated that Adora should follow, which she obediently did. “Oh, by the way, the soft serve machine needs to be cleaned, the trash needs to be taken care of and the floors must be moped by the end of your shift. Do you think you can handle all that on your first night, Adora? Or is that… I don’t know, too much for you?”_

_“Too much?!”, she scoffed, her hands making an ‘oh, please’ gesture, as if Catra had said something obvious or purely ridiculous. “I can handle that fine, yeah”, she added. “Just… Show me what I need to do, and I’ll get right at it”._

_So cocky. So overconfident._

_But also…_

_Ugh._

_So, so incredibly attractive._

_“Perfect”, Catra’s eyes lit with a hint of mischief. “Then let’s get you a uniform”._

********

Catra opens a guilty grin, as if she has just been caught, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“It wasn’t like that”, Catra explains, trying not to laugh. “I have a work thing and my car didn’t start this morning, Scorpia’s on this ridesharing group with like a hundred other people or whatever and she was doing me a favor. I guess it didn’t occur to her to explain—I mean… Trust me, I had no idea something like this was going to happen”, Catra declares, already wondering how the _fuck_ she’s going to get to Arxia now. “But anyway, you should get going”.

“What do you mean?”, Adora asks with a puzzled expression. “Don’t you have your work thing?”

“I’ll figure something out”, she shrugs.

“Look, Catra, I know it’s been… Forever, and that we haven’t seen each other in a long time”.

Ahem.

_Four years, ten months and thirteen days._

“But we still are going to the same place, aren’t we? And, I mean, I’m already here. To be honest, I was kind of counting on the company, too, it’s such a long drive…”. She takes her hand above her eyes to block the sunlight from her face, long and calloused fingers catching all of Catra’s attention.

Catra gulps. There are so many ways this could go wrong.

“Adora, do you seriously think this is a good idea? For one thing, we barely know each other anymore”.

“It’s weird, I know, but there’s no reason why it can’t work out, right? Maybe we can even… I don’t know. Catch up”, she smiles.

Catra sneers. “You have got to be kidding me”. While the thought of finally being able to fill in the gaps left over all those years sounds undeniably tempting, Catra’s fears exceed her curiosity. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna pass. But thank you, anyway”.

“Don’t be stubborn”, Adora chastises. “I know this is awkward, but it’s _just a ride_. After I drop you off, we can go back to never seeing each other again, if that’s what you want”.

Catra has spent so much energy fantasizing about what this moment would be like if it ever came to pass – what she would say, what Adora would say, how she would feel. And although the words ‘ _I never want to see you again’_ , or something of the like, were almost always a part of the elaborate and long speech she wrote on her mind, now that it’s finally happening, the sentence feels, to say the very least, inadequate.

She wants many things right now – she wants this conversation to be over, to run and hide in her bedroom; she wants Adora to say she’s missed her too, to kiss her just to see if it would feel the same, to fuck her senseless then leave her begging for more.

But no. Strange as it may seem, not seeing her ever again is _far_ from being an item on that list.

Even after all that this time, even after having her heart shattered in a million tiny pieces, there is still something about Adora that pulls her in.

Which makes getting into a car with her an even worse idea.

“I’m not being –" 

Before she finishes giving Adora whatever snarky and untruthful answer she has on her mind, Catra’s phone buzzes in her pocket. A call from D.T., the company’s senior investigator and her mentor, one of the people who were waiting for her in Arxia.

“Sorry, I have to take this”, Catra says, turning her back to Adora. “Yeah?”

 _“Finally, you have no idea of how tedious it is without you here, darling”,_ they complain with their characteristic blasé tone, which never once fails to make Catra cackle.

“I’m sure being in a high-class fancy hotel with everything paid for is a dreadful experience”, she teases.

“ _And_ w _hile I’m at it, may I just say that it wouldn’t hurt you to check your texts every now and then, you know. I’ve been trying to reach you for a while and a busy little bee like me shouldn’t have to waste time chasing after their misanthrope pupil_ ”.

“Shit, you’re right. Sorry, I was, uh… Distracted”. She casually looks over her shoulder and sees Adora typing something on her phone while leaning against the jeep. “So, what’s up?”

_“Oh, not much, kitten, wondering if you were already on your way. See, I have my hands full and some new evidence came up on our high-profile case, so the sooner you get here to take a look, the better”._

“Yeah, about that…”

 _“I really hope you have some good news regarding your whereabouts”_ , they continue. “ _That overbearing first-year associate who thinks he’s already a name partner has been remarkably cranky since we got here, whining to you-know-who that we’re short on staff and constantly needing someone to hold his hand. Wouldn’t want you to get on his bad side, darling”._

“Geez, tell that dickhead to go fuck himself and chill for half a day. I got called this morning, it’s not like Arxia is right around the corner. Seriously, I should have become a lawyer, if idiots like him are able to pass the bar exam it must be ridiculously easy”, at that comment, Catra hears Adora’s discreet chuckle and finds her laughing out of the corner of her eye.

She smiles.

_“Can’t tell him that, unfortunately, so if you could please hurry? There’s quite a bit of pressure on both of us, as I’m sure you can tell”._

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in time for tomorrow, as promised”.

_“Perfect. If there’s anything you need, charge it on the company’s credit card, those corporate pricks deserve it. Spare no effort to get here as soon as possible”._

Catra sighs. “Yeah, okay”.

Her heart’s beating fast again, her limbs and tongue are numb.

She slowly turns to Adora again, trying to keep a defeated look from showing up on her face. It gets worse when she finds the blonde grinning at her, leaning against the car, her _unbelievably_ toned arms crossed, car keys in hand, a pair of aviator sunglasses hanging on her face and holy _fuck,_ no one in the world should be allowed to look hot like that, _especially_ the girl who broke Catra’s heart – even if she has no clue about ever doing such thing.

It’s a terrible, _terrible_ idea, but it’s not like she has a backup plan. There are no direct buses or trains to Arxia – the fastest route using public transport would never get her there in time – and it’s too far away for mobile apps to be a viable option. 

“So…”, Catra rolls her eyes.

“Looks like you’re gonna need that ride, after all”, she smirks in triumph.

“Yup, apparently”, she sighs.

********

**_SIX YEARS AGO_ **

_Broom in hand, Catra was about to enter the diner’s utility closet when Adora opened the door to exit it. They almost bumped into each other, and Adora gave a reflexive apology before actually noticing who was the person standing in front of her._

_“Oh!” Blue eyes sparked like angry fire. “Catra, huh? We haven’t officially met”._

_Catra smirked defiantly._

_“Hey, Adora”._

_“So, your prank last week was pretty funny”, she said, crossing her arms, a smile on her face._

_“Yeah, sorry about that”, Catra chuckled discreetly. “Hope you didn’t take it personal, just my way of giving you… The Blue Blanket welcome experience”._

_“Oh, sure, I actually thought it was hilarious”, Adora mocked, lightly tapping Catra on the shoulder._

_“Good to know you have a sense of humor”._

_“Yeah, don’t sweat it. Oh, you want to go in?”, Adora said, opening the door for Catra. “Sorry, go on”._

_“Thanks”, Catra replied as she entered._

_Except for the streak of light coming in through the door, the room was completely dark – a distinctive gnawing sound caught Catra’s attention. The sound increased and she suspiciously groped along the wall to search for the light switch. When she turned on the light, the source of the sound revealed itself._

_Catra gasped and jumped back at the sight, desperately pressing her back against the wall while wielding the broom like a sword._

_“Motherfucker!!” She squealed in fright. “Shit, fuck, fuck, get it out of here!!”_

_The small white rodent looked straight at her from the floor, cleaning its whiskers with its disgusting, but admittedly cute little paws, feasting on a piece of cheese. Then the sound of Adora laughing hysterically resonated from behind her. She turned herself to face her._

_“Oh, you’re dead, princess”._

_“Where’s your sense of humor, Catra?” Adora taunted in between chuckles._

_“You idiot! Did you seriously bring a fucking rat to a place that serves food?” She yelled, hiding behind the broom and nearly sinking into the wall when the mouse started to move forward. “Quick, close the door, or it will escape!!”_

_“Ha-ha-ha, so worth it!” Adora closed the door behind her, still laughing, then retrieved a cage from behind the rack. “You still owe me 30 bucks and the tips you made while I was doing your job for you”._

_“That was such a dick move”, Catra protested while Adora cackled her way to pick up the mouse from the floor. “Not to mention unsanitary”._

_“Relax, it’s a science lab mouse, it’s cleaner than Kyle’s greasy fingers”._

_“You might be right about that”, Catra said, a little more relaxed now that the mouse was safely back in its cage. “What, you stole a mouse from some lab or something?”_

_“I borrowed it from the university lab after class”._

_“Do they know you took it?”, Catra asked, placing the broom in the broom holder, where it belonged._

_“Mmm, that’s beside the point”, she replied with a naughty grin on her face. “The look on your face, though, that – hah, that was priceless”_

_Catra’s lips turned into an involuntary smile as she watched Adora wipe the tears of joy from her face._

_Her new co-worker was much more interesting than she gave credit for._

_“Ooooo, look, it’s gonna get you, Catra”. Adora giggled as she playfully took the cage closer and farther to Catra’s face to scare her., but Catra wasn’t looking at the mouse anymore._

_Someone else in the room deserved her full attention._

********

Catra places her bag and backpack in the jeep’s trunk, then closes the lid; Adora makes her way to the driver’s side.

“Oh, I’m driving first turn”, Catra says, coming closer to the blonde and taking her hand to the doorknob to prevent Adora from opening the door. They’re close now, and Catra hates the way that Adora is still able to make her skin vibrate and _hum_ just by being around.

“Wait, why?”, she frowns.

 _So I don’t have to look directly at your idiot face_.

“Because I just remembered how hectic your driving skills are”, she smirks.

Adora snorts. “Oh, _my_ driving skills are hectic?”, she protests. “How many times have _I_ gotten us pulled over, miss _I don’t care about the speed limit_?”.

“Adora, you once dragged a traffic cone down the street for like a block and almost drove into a pole”.

“Yeah, but that was because you were, uh… You were doing…”, she stops talking and swallows, her cheeks change color again. Catra smirks, because knows how to complete that sentence. She remembers perfectly what she was doing at the time – or, more specifically, where her fingers were placed while Adora was behind the wheel. “Uh…”

“Just give me the keys”, she offers her empty hand.

“ _Fine_ ”, Adora grunts in defeat, handing Catra the car keys. “But I’m picking the music”.

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with”.

Already inside, seatbelts fastened, Adora talks to her cell phone navigational application while Catra checks the mirrors and adjusts her seat.

“Hey, Darla? Drive from Bright Moon to Arxia”, she commands, placing the cell phone over the dashboard. After a second of loading, an artificial female voice responds.

_“Attention. The quickest route from your location to Arxia is through the Crimson Waste, where the roads will be closed at: nine P.M. Do you accept?"._

“Yes”.

Catra puts her sunglasses on, taking one last look at Adora before starting the car. Anger, resentment, fear and something else boiling inside of her.

Yes, this is probably not going to be one of those stories of healing and self-discovery.

“ _Adjusting course to: Arxia. Estimated time remaining: eight hours and thirty-four minutes”_.

But then again, maybe it could be.

One can only hope.


	2. The Whispering Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back, and so are those two sweet yet useless lesbians that we all love so much.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, I know I had fun writing it!
> 
> Thank you for reading :) Can't wait to hear your thoughts.

She has a tattoo now, on her left shoulder blade. Catra notices it while quickly glancing to the passenger’s side, her eyes protected by her shades. Adora’s tank top and hair are covering the most of it and, from that angle, Catra can’t tell exactly what it is, she can just see its edges. It reminds her of a First Ones’ sigil – which would make sense, considering Adora’s passion for the ancient language of Etheria’s colonizers.

Well, not her _passion_. More like her stupid _calling_ , her _mission_ or whatever name she preferred to give it these days.

Catra still wonders if Adora’s career related decisions were for herself or if she was trying to fit into a role that she had been groomed to take on someday, to wear the shoes of the person her family wanted her to be, the person they believed she was meant to become to honor their legacy.

Regardless, that was the path she eventually chose to follow.

The tattoo seems to be as a reminder that Adora has always been more complex and ambiguous than she looks. That was a part of what made her so attractive to Catra.

On paper, she’s the typical golden girl. Perfect grades, off the charts athletic performance, reliable work ethics; pretty, friendly, everyone’s favorite, employee of the month. The type of person that would normally get on Catra’s every last nerve – and for the first month they worked together, she did. But as they got to know each other a little more closely, Catra found that she was much more chaotic, impulsive and zany than first impressions allowed to perceive.

Or perhaps that’s who she used to be.

It feels surreal to be around her because whatever knowledge Catra thought she had, whatever version of Adora she once knew, it may or may not be consistent with her current self. After all, a tattoo is unlikely to be the only new thing Adora has gained over the years, Catra reckons.

Regrettably for Catra, there was at least one thing about Adora that remained the same.

For the first twenty minutes of their trip, she spends a considerable amount of energy trying to ignore Adora’s perfume. It bothers her that she still recognizes the scent and that it still has an effect on her. She thinks about how it would cling to her sheets all day after they had spent the night together, how she would feel giddy and pathetically happy when she could smell Adora on her own clothes or hair.

She thinks about how effortless it was to fall in love with that smell, to fall in love with Adora. And how _impossible_ it was to get over her.

Catra tightly grips the wheel and chooses to concentrate on steering. Eyes on the road and away from Adora’s stupid tattoo, Adora’s boring broad back and Adora’s outrageously unattractive shoulders.

It doesn’t help her much, because she can still smell her, though.

“Hey, do you mind if I smoke?”

That ought to do the trick.

“Not at all, go ahead”, Adora answers casually, too focused on her cell phone screen as she obsesses over choosing the perfect soundtrack for the ride.

With open windows and a cigarette in hand, Catra feels like she can finally breathe properly again. Which is ironic, since, you know. Smoking is bad for ya.

The smell is covered by the smoke, but Adora seems to be purposefully trying to torment Catra in more ways than one.

The first song she picks is a Culture Club earworm that their former coworker, Kyle, used to play all the time at the diner – one she _knows for a fact_ that Catra loathes. Catra clenches her teeth as the first note of the melody begins, rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses.

If the sound itself wasn’t torturing enough, the blonde starts shaking her head from side to side, dancing in her seat, waving her hands and lip-syncing. Perhaps that was her own dumb way of trying to break that awkward bubble of tension between them.

Catra tells herself that it isn’t going to work.

“Seriously? That’s the song you pick after twenty minutes scrolling?” Catra protests. “You have _got_ to be kidding me”.

Well, it looks like it already has worked. Adora grins.

“Come on, Catra!”, Adora says, still dancing. “If we’re gonna spend the next eight hours of our lives together, might as well lighten up a little”.

“Ugh, you’re lucky I have places to be or I would drive us both into that tree right now”, she snarls. “You shouldn’t do that to the person who literally has your life in their hands”.

“Just checking if your taste in music has improved”, she says with a playful smile before going back to her moronic lip-syncing.

“ _Yours_ is still terrible, from what I can hear”, she leans her elbow against the jeep’s window and takes a drag of her cigarette.

“Keep insulting me like that and I might feel like singing, too”.

“If you want me to lose control of the vehicle, go ahead”.

“ _You come and go, you come and gooo_ ”, she sings exaggeratedly, studying Catra’s face from behind the sunglasses to catch her reaction, but Catra’s determined not give her any.

“Ugh. Never quit your job”, Catra mumbles. “How can this be so _normal_ to you?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Adora outbreaths. “So much time has passed, can’t we at least give it a try?”

Catra is not ready to give in just yet, but Adora’s words sink in somehow. The song keeps on playing for another minute before the blonde tries to break the ice again. “Poor Kyle, his face when he found out this album had _mysteriously_ disappeared from the jukebox”, she exclaims with a hint of mischief.

“Just did the rest of the staff a favor”. Catra’s lips break into a subtle smirk.

“Did you keep it? I’ve always wondered”, Adora asks, once again getting invested in making silly dance with her head and hands.

“Yeah, I keep it in a room full of trophies”, Catra teases ironically. “That Ricky Astley monstrosity is right next to it, where it can’t harm no one”.

“Oh, excellent idea for the next song”, Adora snickers, typing something on her cell phone.

“You should get this new death wish of yours checked out, Adora”. The blonde opens a small, victorious smile. “Anyway, is that your plan? That’s your concept of _lightening up_? Annoy me for the next eight hours with terrible music until I either kill myself or kill you?”

“Alright, alright, I’ll change the playlist”.

“Thank you!”

They stay in silence for a second while Adora turns her attention back to her cell phone.

“So, what are you going to do there?”, she chooses a song Catra actually likes, which breaks a little of the tension. “In Arxia, I mean”.

“I have to take the ferry to Beast Island tomorrow”.

“Beast Island?”, the blonde creases her eyebrows. “Why, do you have to visit someone in prison?” She asks with a teasing tone.

“Yeah”.

Adora turns to her in surprise. “Oh, my God, really?”

“For work, idiot”, the insult that used to be a pet name, another splinter of their previous relationship, one that Catra doesn’t notice coming out of her mouth. “I told you I had a work thing”.

“Yeah, but you didn’t mention that work meant going to a high security prison, dumbas—uu _uh_ ”, she clears her throat. Shit, _now_ Catra notices what she said. “ _Uh_ – Where do you work?”

 _And_ she’s blushing.

Perfect.

Catra can’t relax for half a second without being dragged back to their old dynamic.

They used to call each other by many names – Adora was _princess_ , _idiot_ , _dumb_ , _dummy_ , sometimes _dork_ and, on occasion, _moron_ ; while Catra was both a _smartass_ and a _dumbass_ , as well as a _brat_. They both knew the insults weren’t supposed to be taken seriously, it was a reflex of their competitive nature. Also, they were the only way Catra knew to be soft – by giving good meaning to bad words, like an encrypted love language of sorts.

But that was _then_.

It sure as hell isn’t _now_.

“Oh. Uh”, Catra bites her lip. “I’m an investigator at a law firm. They asked me to give an extra hand for this V.I.P case or whatever. There’s this guy whose testimony can get our clients off the hook, but his story needs some serious checking”.

“That sounds so cool. _Not_ going to Beast Island, obviously. Your job”.

“ _Eh_ ”, Catra shrugs. “It pays the bills, I guess”.

“It really suits you”.

“What? Ending up in Beast Island?”, she teases.

“No!”, Adora scoffs. “A career related to law”.

“Are you being sarcastic?”, Catra arches an eyebrow, even though she knows the answer.

“No. Why do you say that?”.

“I don’t know. Most people find it weird. Surprising, I guess. All things considered”.

Catra has a point. She’s not exactly known for being a person who cares about rules, morals, and least of all the law – quite the opposite. If her juvenile record hadn’t already been expunged, it would have some pretty interesting stories to tell. Even as an adult, she still works around the system whenever she finds it necessary, but now she’s much better at not getting caught.

“I don’t find that surprising at all”, Adora says. “All things considered”.

********

**_FIVE YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AGO_ **

_It was almost three in the morning; the diner was about to close. Rogelio was taking care of the last orders in the kitchen while Kyle washed the dishes. Adora was waiting on the two remaining tables, Catra was sweeping the floors behind the counter while brewing a fresh batch of coffee._

_She smiled discreetly when she saw Bee walk in._

_After the incident with the mouse in the storage room, Catra and Adora spent the following months trying to find new and more creative ways to trick and make fun of each other. Every weekend they would place a bet on who would receive the most tips and the loser was left with the task that the winner did not want to do._

_Their competitive dynamic made working in Blue Blanket a lot more entertaining – Catra even started taking extra shifts and showing up on time, oddly motivated for a job she didn’t give a flying fuck about._

_And maybe she was imagining things, but over those three months, she was picking up some signs. It was starting to feel like they were flirting. Well, she knew that she definitely had the hots for Adora, but she couldn’t figure out if it was mutual._

_That particular night, she had asked Bee, her ginger-haired regular booty call, to pose as a super-picky customer who would take forever to place their very specific orders, just to drive Adora crazy._

_“Can I have the burger with lactose-free cheese and sub the bacon for jackfruit?”, she said after taking a really long look at the menu, Adora by her side, pretending she wasn’t getting impatient._

_“Uh… Let me see what we can do about that”, she smiled politely. “I’ll be right back”._

_“Wait, I also would like the mayo on the side, not on the burger”. Catra suppressed a giggle._

_“Sure! I mean, I’ll have to ask the chef and then I’ll let you know. Would that be all?”._

_“Oh, no tomatoes, please. I’m allergic”._

_“Got it. Would you like anything to drink?”_

_“Wait, hold on, hold on, I changed my mind… How about…” A moment of silence. “Hmm, I don’t know, there are so many options. Okay, so, do you have gluten-free buns?_

_“Sorry, I don’t think that we do”._

_“Alright, forget the buns, what do you recommend?”_

_Bee managed to keep Adora occupied for over ten minutes, when she finally settled for “just a glass of warm milk mixed with a little bit of honey, please”, which was as random and nonsensical as a fake order could get. The whole time, Catra discreetly watched how Adora’s expression would change, how impatient and worked up she was getting, how she would bite her lip, crease her eyebrows and clench her hand into a fist behind her back._

_Her sex date was going to be so hot, Catra thought, as she resumed to sweeping, still checking them out every now and then._

_Oh, yeah._

_Teasing Adora like that, knowing that sooner or later she was going to exact her revenge… Was starting to feel like a very stimulating type of sexual foreplay._

_“Hey, sweet face, ready to give us some attention?”, some disgusting guy said when Adora got to his table, and Catra quickly remembered why she hated that job in the first place. “You know what me and my buddy were wondering? We wanted to know which time you get off”. Gross pickup lines from pathetic losers were nothing Catra hadn’t dealt with before, unfortunately, but they were still a pain in the ass._

_What was really upsetting her, more than she thought it would, was seeing Adora in that position._

_Creep laughed, his stupid drunk friend laughed along with him._

_“T-That depends, sir, are you ready to order?”, Adora nervously said._

_“Aw, look, Scurvy, she’s shy!”, asshole number two said, and they both started laughing again._

_“Come on, don’t be shy, sweetie, me and my buddy, we’re just having a good time. Maybe you could join us after your shift, what do you say?”._

_Yeah, so, Catra was getting pissed._

_Like… Really pissed._

_“I’ll let you guys decide and come back later”._

_“What if what I want is not on the menu?”, asshole number one held Adora’s wrist. Catra felt Quentin Tarantino vibes taking her over, a warning siren resounding in her mind, commanding her to commit some violence. Adora hurriedly jumped back and pulled her hand back to herself. “Aw, come on, sweetie, don’t be like that”._

_Catra was about to intervene, broom in hand as if it were the ultimate weapon. But, luckily, she didn’t have to._

_“Kitchen’s closing. If you’re not ordering, you should both leave. Unless you want me to call security”, Adora said firmly as she walked away from the table, leaving the two dickheads by themselves._

_Alright, princess. That was much better than Catra’s first time, as a matter of fact._

_Still, making them stop wasn’t enough for Catra, especially when she could see how shaken Adora was._

_“I’m taking a break”, she said hoarsely as she passed by Catra on her way to the kitchen._

_Catra didn’t think twice._

_That fresh batch of boiling hot coffee she had just made? It accidently ended up being spilled all over those jerks._

_Whoops! Bad, Catra._

_They left the diner escorted by the security guard, kicking and screaming that their dicks were burning, cursing Catra’s family name for the next two generations and probably heading straight to the E.R. A while after the show was over, Catra grabbed a mop to clean up the mess on the floor while making casual conversation with Bee._

_“Too bad their dicks didn’t fall off”, Catra said as she scrubbed the floor._

_“Never saw you angry like that, it’s pretty hot. Is this because they messed with your princess?” Catra gave her a quick look, that was more like a silent confession. “Oooooh, someone's got a cru-ush”, Bee sing-sang._

_“Shut up”, Catra hissed. “It’s not like that. I just… Hate bullies, that’s all”._

_“Sure. And I’m heterosexual”. They both laughed._

_Catra turned around and found Adora staring at her, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, wide blue eyes quietly thanking her from across the room._

_Catra smiled, a soft expression taking over her face._

********

No, Catra couldn’t care less about rules, but growing up in an unsafe environment with less than loving parents, she cares a whole lot about _justice_ – which is not always the same as the law, but sometimes those two things go hand-in-hand. Coincidentally or not, she was sort of a natural for spotting people that, just as herself, didn’t worry about society’s laws enough to follow them.

She would love to spend the rest of her days as a hedonistic outlaw; but, alas, life was real, there were bills to be paid and Catra would be caught dead before turning to her mother for financial help. When the time came to pick her major and pursue a career, she made the most practical decision, thus abandoning her old dream to become an international art thief.

As it turns out, she enjoys finding dirt about delinquents for a living – even if, sometimes, her work ended up indirectly helping said delinquents get away with their crap. That last part she doesn’t actually enjoy, but hey, it’s the job. At the end of the day, her firm also helps a lot of innocent people find their justice, too. And who knows? If she works hard enough, maybe pretty soon she will have enough of a reputation to start her own business and have the luxury of choosing her clients.

So, yeah, Catra must admit that Adora is right. It isn’t shocking that she ended up finding a successful career at law investigation.

They stop for gas, Catra steps out for a cigarette and watches as Adora fill up the tank and that’s _definitely_ not something she will be dreaming about anytime soon. She catches a better glimpse of Adora’s tattoo and finds that it is not a First Ones’ sigil, but actually a sword – and it doesn’t look hot _at all_.

And the more she notices those new details in Adora’s body and demeanor, the more curious she gets to find out more.

A perfect booby trap, just waiting for Catra to fall into it.

Before hitting the road again, Adora insists that they _must_ have a slice of pie at Razzberry’s – a quaint and cozy place near the gas station in the outskirts of the Whispering Woods. According to Adora, and she says this very emphatically, it’s _the best fucking pie in Etheria and only really stupid people wouldn’t agree_.

What follows is a sequence of weird grunt noises and groans, after which Catra can only assume that Adora is _really_ into that pie.

And as much as Catra loves to see Adora beg – and _she does_ – she also can’t endure her frantic nagging when it comes to food.

“Do you want me to give you guys some privacy?”, Catra asks with a smirk on her face when their plates arrive.

“Make all the fun you want. You’ll see what I mean in a second”.

When she takes her first bite, Adora’s looking at her smugly, waiting for her to admit that it is, hands down, the best damn pie she’s ever tasted.

Ugh.

She’s so cute when she gets all cocky.

And it’s still ridiculously endearing.

“What about you, what’s your deal?” Catra asks.

“Hm?”, Adora says, like she’s been brought back from a daydream made of strawberry and chocolate cream.

“What are you up to in Arxia. I told you what my deal was. What’s yours?”.

“Oh. The Center of Archeological Studies needed a translator”, she says with her mouth still full. Catra wishes she could find that unappealing. “Well, more than a translator, a sociolinguist slash philologue slash decoder. Apparently, the last expedition they made dug out a new First Ones’ artifact”, she grabs another bite. “I mean, not a _new_ artifact, obviously, but one that no one had ever found before”.

“I understood you the first time, dork”, another flash from their personal past peers out as fast as Catra swallows her slice of pie. Adora glances at her suspiciously while chewing.

“So, the lead archeologist requested someone specialized in First Ones’ dialects to check for authenticity… According to them, if it really is a First Ones’ ruin, it makes no sense. I mean, it’s impossible to decipher the sigils just with our current knowledge about their written language. So, either it’s _not_ authentic or it is coded somehow. Long story short, they are friends of my advisor at BMU and she recommended me for the job”.

“Wow, that sounds… Boring”, Catra admits with a teasing yawn. “Sorry”. She’s not sorry.

“It’s not boring!” Adora squeals. “It’s a breakthrough discovery about an ancient civilization that has highly influenced our entire lifestyle, our technological advances, our culture, our…” Catra stares at Adora skeptically, the blonde rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine, it is pretty boring, yeah”, she smiles. “But it’s also kind of exciting. Can you imagine? If I actually crack the code, this new piece of information could be a major turning point for my thesis”.

“Well, I’m sure it’s just another different way of writing _dinner_ , but in code”, Catra snickers.

“You know, you may have a point”, she chuckles, taking another bite of her pie. “The First Ones had at least twelve known variants to refer to their basic meals just in written formal writing”.

“Yeah, you told me that already”, Catra says with a dry smile. “That was the joke”.

“Oh”. Adora lowers her eyes and her face turns pink. “I just assumed… Well, you never seemed to care about that kind of stuff”.

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening”.

Adora sighs discreetly, an apologetic expression on her face. She bites her lower lip and swallows, her cheek dimple does this cute little thing in which it trembles slightly to the side, her nose twitches a bit – another new thing that Catra doesn’t how to read.

“You know, speaking of which, one of my advisors at the Grayskull Institute thought he had tattooed _love_ , but it was actually _lunch_ ”, she giggles.

“What? You’re shitting me”, Catra chuckles, Adora shoots her a pleased look when she hears her squeaky laugh.

“I wish I was”, she says with a bashful smile. “He based himself on an old translation that turned out to be inaccurate, from before researchers figured out First Ones’ language is phonetic. I wish I hadn’t been the one who ended up pointing it out, though”.

“My guess is he didn’t take it very well”.

“Not at first, but it became a little inside joke in the department. And I became friends with one of his sons, so all was forgotten”.

“Too bad he didn’t meet the real prodigy at the subject sooner”, she smirks.

“Now I don’t know if _you’re_ being sarcastic”.

She wasn’t. “You used to be able to tell”, she remarks.

Adora makes this face in which Catra knows that, again, she crossed a line. "Looks like I've lost that ability".

“I'll let you draw your own conclusion, then”.

They finish eating in silence, even though Catra is tempted to ask her more. She wants to know if leaving Etheria was worth it, if Adora’s satisfied with her career choices, and why did she transfer from the Grayskull Institute for First Ones Studies back to BMU.

She also kind of _really_ wants to know if Adora’s single.

Not because she cares! No, she’s just… You know, curious to find out if Adora’s life turned out fine in that department. For purely scientific reasons, of course.

But the real million-dollar question, the question that trumps them all, the one that’s scratching Catra’s insides…

_Why didn’t Adora show up that day?_

She was going to need much more than an eight-hour trip to find the courage to ask her that.

“Would you like another slice, Adora dearie?”, says the quirky old lady who owns the place, removing the empty plates from their table. Adora stands up to help her clean up.

“Hmmm, I think I’ll have a slice of apple pie for the road, Razz, thank you”, Adora replies with a warm smile, then turns to Catra again. “We should get going, we don’t have a lot of time to spare”.

“Don’t look at me, you were the one who _had_ to stop here”. Catra turns to Razz. “Not that I’m complaining, your pie is excellent”.

“Why, thank you, dearie!”, she says with a strong accent that Catra can’t place. Then, to Adora: “And Mara? I haven’t seen her in a long time”.

“Mara’s doing great, Razz, thank you for asking. I’m sure she misses you. Oh, you know what? She would love a slice of your blueberry pie. I’ll give it to her when we meet”.

Sorry, not that Catra cares, but who the fuck is Mara? Sparkles, Mara... The names just keep on coming, don't they?

“Wonderful! Stay right there, dearie, I’ll be right back with your pies”. Razz nods at Catra. “And you, sweet girl, would you like a treat for the road?”

“No, thank you”, Catra answers politely, though it kind of hurts her feelings to be called _sweet_.

“Mmm, wait, yes, she does!” Adora’s eyes spark with excitement. “You’ll never guess what they have here”.

“Really wasn't planning to”, Catra grumbles.

“Hey, Razz, I know it’s not on display, but last time we came here you had –“ Adora whispers something in Razz’s ear.

“Oh, of course! I might still have a piece, let me check”. Razz says with a wide, loving smile. “I’m going to wrap it all up and be right back”.

“My treat, you know, since you paid for gas”, she glances at Catra with a cocky grin. “Don’t worry, you’re going to like it”.

“Oh, yeah? How can you be so sure?”.

“Trust me”.

“Not in a million years”. Catra stands up smirking, Adora rolls her eyes. They both head for the entrance. “Uh, so how do you know this place?”

“My advisor, Mara, she adores Madam Razz. I think they go way back. She brought me here when we were discussing the terms of my transference to Bright Moon”.

“Ooooh, so Mara is your _advisor_!”

“Yeah. Why?”

“No reason”, Catra shrugs, a subtle smile trying to make an appearance on her lips.

It doesn’t take long before Razz comes back with three small cardboard packages and hands it to them.

“There you go, dearie. Don’t be a stranger! Tell Mara I miss her”.

“I will. Thanks, Razz! Good to see you again”.

“Watch the road, you two. But don’t forget to watch the stars as well!”.

“Huh?” Catra frowns. “What was that about?”

“Not a single clue”, Adora mutters. “Okay, bye, Razz!”.

“Wait, let me see what this is, first”. Catra takes a look inside her surprise package.

What she sees makes her feel like her heart is too big for her chest all of a sudden. A large piece of her favorite kind of cake, one that she rarely finds in Bright Moon because it's not really common in Etheria. And of course Adora remembers it, of course she does, that shouldn't come as a surprise at all. Many things may have changed, but her thoughtfulness and kindness is definitely not new.

"Oh".

********

**_FIVE YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AGO_ **

_“Are you stealing food from Kyle again?” Adora’s voice broke the silence as Catra cut a piece of cake from Kyle’s lunch box and transferred it to her own plastic container. A purple sticky note on the box read ‘This cake is Kyle’s, please don’t eat it’, with a smiley face next to it._

_A message obviously intended for Catra, one that she obviously chose to ignore._

_Catra’s eyes shone, her mouth watered. She hardly ever got a chance to eat that kind of cake since she moved to Bright Moon._

_“You know, I’m sure if you just asked him, he would give you a piece”, Adora remarked._

_“And where would be the fun in that?” Catra smirked. “Come on, close the door and I’ll save you a bite”. Adora arched an eyebrow and gave her a judgmental look. “I’m not going to take the whole thing, if that’s your concern”._

_“Okay, then”, Adora giggled and closed the door behind her. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something”._

_“Yeah?”, Catra said, already taking a bite of cake, offering her hand to Adora. “Mmmm. Here, take some”._

_The pleased expression on Adora’s face as she ate the cake was bordering pornographic._

_“Fuck, this is so good! What is it?”_

_“Eighteen-layer guava roll cake, the royalty of all cakes. Stupid Kyle doesn’t deserve it”, she joked. “So, what’s up?”_

_“Uh, yeah”, her tone of voice became meek. “It’s about the other night. You didn’t have to do that for me, you know. It could’ve gotten you into trouble”._

_“If you’re talking about the coffee accident, it had nothing to do with you”, Catra said, playing dumb. “I guess their brains were so small it must have affected the gravitational field around them somehow”._

_“Right. Are you sure it wasn’t because you secretly like me?”, Adora asked smugly._

_“Don’t read into it, princess”, Catra said as they left the staff’s pantry and made their way into the diner hall. “They had it fucking coming, that is all”._

_“Well, even if that’s the case”, Adora smiled, “Thank you”._

_She touched Catra’s wrist and Catra’s knees went weak for no apparent reason – maybe there was something affecting her gravitational field, too._

_“Yeah, whatever, don’t mention it”, Catra tried to suppress a blush that rose on her cheeks._

_“I might even forget your last little stunt”, Adora smiled. “Don’t think I didn’t figure out you had something to do with that red-haired customer who changed her order a million times, then didn't leave a tip”._

_“Fuck”. Catra smirked. “What gave me away?”_

_“I'm not blind, you know. I've seen her sneak in during your breaks more than once. It’s not like you two are being discreet._

_“Huh. Looks like someone’s been paying attention”, Catra grinned arrogantly as they passed by the kitchen, Adora’s face changed color. “Hey, did you see there’s a new jukebox? Let’s go look if there’s something worth playing in the middle of all that 80’s junk”._

_“Uh. Yeah. Okay”, they walked together into the which was still empty, except for Lonnie and Rogelio discussing America’s Next Top Model most recent episode in the background, getting the place ready to open. “So, can I ask you something?”_

_“Can I stop you?”_

_”Is she, like, your, uh – girlfriend?”, Adora asked as the blush on her face intensified._

_“Who? Bee?” Catra scoffed. “Nah, I don’t really see myself as the girlfriend type. We’re just having fun”._

_“Hmm. And how does that go, if you don't mind me asking?”_

_“I call her when I’m horny, she calls me when she’s horny. Or bored. That works too”._

_“Oh”, her eyes nervously darted to the jukebox, she cleared her throat. Catra fiddled with the device, browsing through the catalogue. Adora’s eyes went to her fingers, then her arms and neck. “Yeah, I can see how that… Works”._

_It was Catra’s turn to get a little flushed, her every move under Adora’s meticulous and gentle gaze. And there it was again – that weakness in her knees, that shiver down her spine, that rush of blood and adrenaline running through her, her heart beating fast. If this wasn’t flirting, then what was?_

_“And how did you end up working here, anyway?” Catra said, trying to change the subject as she picked a Joan Jett record on the jukebox. “Weekends were too boring for you?”_

_“Ha-ha. I need the money”, Adora said, leaning against the jukebox. “I’m saving everything I can to apply for grad school at the Grayskull Institute for First Ones Studies. I also have a part-time job as a research assistant during the weekdays. I want to try for a sports scholarship, but it’s hard to get one, so in case that doesn’t work out…”._

_“Yeah, I figured you had a jock vibe going on”, Catra pressed play and stood up, almost losing her balance as she realized how close she was to Adora. “Volleyball, right? I’ve seen you wearing that stupid jersey around”._

_“Huh. Someone’s been paying attention”, Adora beamed complacently, an arched eyebrow, and Catra’s silence was the answer that she needed to know that she was right. “Any reason in particular?”_

_Catra smirked. “I’m a perceptive person”._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah. Very observant. And I’m really into sports”, Catra says with a nonchalant faux smile, rolling her eyes._

_“Into sports?"_

_“Yep. Can't get enough of it”._

_“Right. Why can’t you just admit that you like me?”._

_“I think you’re projecting, princess”._

_“I might be”, Adora confirmed with a smile, her voice so low Catra could barely hear it over the music. “That doesn’t mean I’m wrong”._

_And Adora’s eyes were on her again, strong and purposeful; on her skin, on her lips, on her chest, so intense she could almost physically feel it._

_‘Can’t you see we’re wasting time?’, the lyrics of the song asked, and Catra’s mind pictured how it would be to kiss Adora, to touch her, to undress her, to take that little power play of theirs to another setting. ‘Do you wanna touch me there?’_

_“So, no girlfriend, huh?”_

_“Not in a million years”._

_She doesn’t remember moving, but somehow, they ended up closer, arms touching each other over the jukebox, Catra’s fingers brushing Adora’s wrist, Adora’s left foot finding its way between Catra’s high-top sneakers._

_“Could you two stop messing around and make yourselves useful?”, Lonnie yelled, bringing Catra back to the sad reality of the weekend night shift. But she knew Adora had been just as lost in the moment as she was. She had her answer. “We open in ten minutes”._

_Adora blushed and cleared her throat, stealing one last look from Catra before getting to work._

_‘Beggin' on my knees, baby, won't you please, run your fingers through my hair?’_

_Oh, shut the fuck up, Joan Jett._

********

Those familiar guitar chords, then Joan's voice. _‘We’ve been here too long, trying to get along, pretending that you’re oh so sh_ –' Catra swallows hard, feeling her palms sweat against the wheel, her hands getting slippery while her mouth goes dry. Adora gasps and changes the song just before the chorus comes, awkwardly glancing at Catra with just her peripheral vision. Catra shoots her a look, their eyes meet, they both go stiff in their seats.

If Adora was relaxed and acting all cool one hour and a half before that, she sure as hell isn’t relaxed _now_.

They chuckle nervously, their minds probably stuck on the same fateful event – their first kiss. Or, rather, their first long sequence of several passionate kisses.

After the end of that shift, when they were both alone, Adora played that song again, that smug and inviting smile on her face, wanting Catra to admit that she wanted her. They dared each other into making the first move, and it was Adora who eventually caved. They kissed and made out against the jukebox for almost an hour before finally going their separate ways with swollen lips, skin tingling with hormones and desire.

That was the night when Catra found out she didn’t know what chemistry was.

At least, not before that kiss.

The tension between them now is of a different quality than earlier.

Catra’s not sure if that’s better or worse.

 _“Turn left on: Alwyn Road, then take the first right to access the entrance to: Plumeria”_ , Darla commands and Catra obeys, as following instructions given by an artificial intelligence is way simpler than dealing with whatever complicated crap she’s feeling.

“That was an interesting song choice” Catra teases, still a little flushed from her own thoughts. "Why did you change it?"

“Waaaay too many memories”, Adora confesses, her cheek dimple trembles again, she sighs.

“Bad ones?”

“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer, Catra”.

“Well, you chose the song for a reason”.

“Wha—I did no such thing!”, she exlaims angrily.

“Maybe Freud would be able to explain it”.

“It was the _algorithm_! It must have been the algo—I blame the algorithm”.

“Sure, Jan”, Catra smirks. “As if the algorithm wasn’t based on your own history and preferences”.

“Oh, shut up, Catra!” Adora says with impatience, her eye twitching slightly. “Just… Ugh. Can you give me a cigarette, please?”

Whoa, what? “Wait, do you smoke now?” That’s _definitely_ new.

“Occasionally”, she replies. “Look, don’t give me a hard time on this, okay? I know it’s a bad and nasty habit, I know what I used to say about smoking, yada-yada-yada, but it helps me relax and I fucking really need it right now, so can you spare me the speech?”.

“Oooooh, so you admit that _this_ is making you nervous?”, Catra taunts, her finger pointing at the two of them.

“Well, of course it is!”, Adora yells. “But it’s happening, so, better find some way to deal with it”.

“Alright, take it”, she nods at the pack of cigarettes under the stereo. “And hey, get one for me as well”.

 _“Incoming call from: Glimmer”_ , Darla’s voice cuts through again. “ _Would you like to take the call, Adora?”._

Adora creases her eyebrows as she gives Catra a cigarette and lights one for herself. “I guess I should take this”.

“Sure, go ahead”, Catra replies. “I know the directions around here”.

“Yes, Darla, take the call”, Adora says, then the call is connected. She takes a long, deep breath and tries to sound normal. “Hey, Glimmer!”

A screechy voice comes through the speakers, a sound that resembles Catra’s worst nightmares. “ _Adora! Why aren’t you checking your messages? And what do you mean you’re ridesharing with your EX?!”_ , the voice yells, and Adora’s pupils go so wide Catra’s afraid she might have a seizure.

“Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh…”

Catra glances at Adora out of the corner of her eye, Adora does the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured:
> 
> Culture Club - Karma Chameleon  
> HAIM - The Steps  
> Joan Jett - Do you wanna touch me (Oh Yeah)
> 
> If you have Twitter, feel free to say hi: @almostetherian
> 
> Oh, as you may have guessed, the guava cake roll really is a thing. Feel free to look it up ;)


	3. Plumeria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :)
> 
> I come bearing some spicy content (you know what, I'm just going to change this ratings to E already, we're probably going to end up there eventually). I also bring you some answers and some pain.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's been a tricky one to write. Your comments are encouraged, be sure to drop a message if you feel like it :) I love reading whatever you have to say.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

**FIVE YEARS AND SIX MONTHS AGO**

_“We should probably stop doing this”, Adora would whisper. “Yeah, this will be the last time”, Catra would guarantee. “Just this once”, they would both vow. “Definitely just this once”._

_But despite their hushed promises, it kept happening. Every weekend, during breaks or after shifts, they would end up tangled into each other, two bodies so tightly pressed together there was no telling them apart. One giant mess of nails digging into skin, tentative fingers searching for sensitive spots, curious lips and tongues eager to taste, lick, suck._

_A look from across the room, an accidental touch behind the counter, a chuckle, a blush, a dirty word or song, that was all it took. The slightest hint of contact would suffice to awake something deep and powerful within them, an urgent hunger, a fire that couldn’t be contained._

_After the first exploratory times, they began learning about each other’s bodies and preferences. Catra got off on finding out what Adora liked and exactly how she liked it, how to make her squirm, gasp, how to make her look at Catra as if she were broken and that touch was the only thing that could ever make her whole again._

_And Catra could tell Adora was experimenting with her just as much. Fingers and tongue experienced in different rhythms, depths, angles. Increased and decreased pressure. She would open a satisfied, smug smile when she noticed she was doing something right. Pleasing Catra made her feel good._

_They were learning together. Discovering new spots, new reactions, new sensations. About each other, about themselves._

_It didn’t take long before they got too bold. Too reckless with their extracurricular activities. It didn’t take long before Lonnie caught them in the act when they were supposed to be doing inventory late at night; Catra trying to suppress her moans while Adora’s tongue drew sharp and precise circles between her thighs, her orgasm so close she could already feel that blissful agony about to take her over._

_When the diner became off-limits, they almost believed it really would be the end of their casual fling. But one can only subvert the laws of physics for so long. So, one night, when they finished work early and her roommate was out of town, Catra decided such good sex was worth the risk of bringing a girl she was increasingly getting attached to her apartment off campus._

_If having Adora for rushed hook-ups in between working hours was satisfying enough, having her whole and fully available was something else entirely._

_They kissed eagerly as they stumbled into each other to make their way to Catra’s bedroom, Adora’s hands gripping her shirt, Catra tugging Adora’s ponytail, her mouth searching for Adora’s neck, jawline, chin, mouth. She could feel the sweat building on her chest and back, a natural consequence after the heated and excruciatingly long make-out session they were having on the couch._

_There were way too many clothes._

_Catra raised her arms so Adora could take off her t-shirt, nails lightly caressing her sides on their way up, the piece of fabric falling to the floor. Adora’s lips went to her chest, her hands on the curve of Catra’s breasts, lips and teeth trapping one of her nipples, then the other. Catra had her hands under Adora’s shirt, softly scratching her back, pulling her closer as Adora moved her hands to Catra’s hips, helping her through the bedroom door, then to the bed._

_She sat while Adora stood and watched, a candid smile and a pink blush on her face as she studied Catra’s figure. Reverent blue eyes roamed Catra's bare chest in awe, as if witnessing a work of art for the first time; a look so strong and powerful that Catra felt it as a force holding her in place, pinning her hands to the edge of the mattress._

_Adora’s hands went to her thighs, then to her short’s zipper, and Catra lifted her hips to help her pull the rest of her clothing down her legs._

_Again, her pale face blushed, her mouth parted open as she contemplated Catra’s nudity for the first time, finger pads went travelling across her skin, down her arms, chest, hips, thighs. With each soft touch, a small gasp escaped from Catra’s throat, until Adora muffled them with a passionate kiss._

_She would have never imagined Adora to be even capable of looking at her like that, with so much want and lust in her eyes, when she first entered the diner five months ago. But now she had her long fingers teasing Catra over her boyshorts, and that depraved expression on her face would be the only image Catra would be able think about during the entire next week._

_Her underwear went off, Adora crouched to place gentle kisses on her stomach, her navel, then just about her crotch. She stood up again and proceeded to undress, clumsily and nervously, her eyes on Catra almost the whole time. Catra’s hands went behind Adora’s back to unhook her bra, the blonde rolled her eyes to the side with embarrassment, opening an awkward smile as the garment slid down her arms and fell to the floor._

_Fuck._

_Catra was thankful she let the living room lights on._

_There was no suitable word to describe exactly what Catra felt when she saw the outline of yellow light framing Adora’s naked body from behind, drawing her silhouette perfectly. Her hair was messy, some golden strands fell on her face; her bangs hung in the air for being trapped under that hair poof too long._

_So, so beautiful._

_And, at least for those brief hours, all hers._

_“Look at me”, Catra asked, her hand on Adora’s chin, and she complied. She wanted to say it. She wanted to express how gorgeous Adora was, she wanted her to know it._

_But then, as they stared into each other’s eyes, it felt as if the words got lost on their way, her breath hitched. Why was she feeling so nervous? It wasn’t like they never did that before. They had been doing it for two months or so._

_Still, nothing about that night felt trivial, or ordinary._

_Her mouth went to Adora’s breast, kissing slowly, softly; her hands gripped the blonde’s hips to help her out of her boyshorts as her lips enveloped Adora’s nipple and sucked vigorously. Adora moaned, her knees jerked forward, pushing them to the bed._

_They kissed, Adora laid on top of her, her wetness dripping on Catra’s thighs, the weight of her body magnifying every sensation. Beneath her, Catra felt trapped, tamed in the most perfect of ways. They rolled to their sides, embedded in each other’s legs, desperately searching for friction. And when their thighs and knees weren’t enough to provide it, their hands found their way to where they should be._

_Oh, how they gasped, moaned, hissed and grunted against their mouths, so lost in their own pleasure, not giving a fuck if anyone would listen. What magnificent sounds were made that night, slick and sweat running down the sheets, blonde and brown hair spread over the pillows; Adora’s fingers giving Catra just what she needed, Catra so ready to take, so eager to return._

_Adora chuckled as their breathing turned heavy, as they both knew the bliss that was coming, as they worked themselves towards climax, trying to take their time, trying to enjoy the most of it, slowing down and speeding up in perfect symmetry._

_She pulled Catra’s hair, rolling them over to be on top of her again, then pushed inside; such wonderful stretch._

_So full, so wet, so tight. All the tension and heat converging to that one single spot, pressure building fast, so fast that Catra’s heart could barely keep up. Her body shook and clenched, folded and unfolded, begging for release._

_“Look at me”, Adora asked, she forced her eyes open to obey._

_Then it came. And all she had to do was let go._

_Not worrying if she was trembling, not caring if she was giving her neighbors a very loud spectacle. There was no way she could hold back, then, there was no way to contain those sounds. And even when she closed her eyes again, she could still see it – Adora’s gleaming golden shape, hovering above her, taking her whole._

_She was still riding her orgasm when Adora followed her over the edge, arching back on top of her,_ _then leaning over and reaching for Catra's hand on the bed, holding it tightly and pinning it to the mattress as she gave in to the shudders, their bodies moving together as if they were vibrating at the same frequency._

_A frequency that only they knew._

_They lied together for a moment, panting, gasping, laughing; overcome with such simple and pure kind of joy. Adora softly caressed Catra’s chest, then her hair._

_“So, uh… That was an upgrade”, she chuckled weakly and turned to place gentle kisses on Catra’s lips, the light pressure and the distant sound of her voice slowly bringing Catra back to the concrete reality of her bedroom._

_“Fuck”, she said, still floating in that soft buzz, feeling as if she had no actual control over her body functions._

_“Didn’t we just do that?”, she giggled, turning herself to lie on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, knees bent._

_“Shut up, idiot, or you’re going to ruin it”, Catra teased, then took Adora’s hand to her mouth, kissed it, smiled._

_Adora held her hand tight._

_No, there was nothing trivial about this._

_Catra had had a few sexual partners, but in this matter, she was definitely inexperienced._

_But she had no time to process it, because a ringing sound managed to cut through the haze._

_“Adora?”_

_“Mmmm?”, Adora mumbled, stroking Catra’s cheek with the tips of her fingers._

_“I think that’s your phone”._

_Adora looked back, searching for the source of the sound._

********

She covers her face with her hand, nervously moving her fingers across her blushed forehead, chin and neck.

“Glimmer, you’re on speaker…”, she mumbles weakly, and Catra discreetly chuckles to herself.

With her other hand, Adora takes the cigarette to her lips – and the image is as surreal as Catra could have imagined. She certainly doesn't look like a regular smoker: her fingers and teeth are spotless clean, and by the way she drags of her cigarette, with brief and short puffs, she doesn't seem to be share much intimacy with it. It’s probably an unusual activity for her.

Even so, it’s intriguing, not to mention ironic, that out of everything Adora could choose as a coping mechanism for her bursts of anxiety, she ended up taking one of Catra’s bad habits. She would like to think she has something to do with it, but she won’t allow her thoughts to go that far.

The blonde hurriedly unclips her phone from the dashboard and picks it up.

“ _Oh_ ”, the annoying voice says over the speaker. An awkward pause. “ _Well, why the fuck didn’t you say that sooner? That would have saved us the embarrassment_ ”.

“Not like you gave me a chance!”, Adora protests while fiddling with her phone. “Look, I’ll explain everything when I get to Arxia, alright? It’s kind of a long story”.

“ _Ugh._ _Fine, but can you take your phone off speaker for a minute?_ ”

“Yeah, just hang on a second”.

 _“The Bluetooth device is disconnected”_ , Darla warns.

“How is that fair? If you’re going to talk about me while I’m standing right here, the least you can do is let me hear it”, Catra teases. “The situation is already as awkward as it could get”.

Adora looks at her with a snarky expression, her lips are pulled into a funny smirk. She takes the device to her ear and, from that point on, all Catra can hear is her side of the conversation.

Unfortunately.

“Okay, we’re off speaker, go on”, she shoots another playful look at Catra, who rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out in response. Adora chuckles, then looks ahead, her face turns serious. “Is everything okay? You were not answering, I was worried”.

She stays quiet for a moment, and all Catra can hear is the low sound of Glimmer’s yapping on the other end of the line, the soft humming of the jeep engine and the howl of the wind coming through the windows.

Her attention goes back to the road as the car passes Plumeria’s welcome sign.

Best known for its exuberant vineyards and honey farms, its organic vegetables and stupid flowers, Plumeria is a bucolic region right after the Whispering Woods. Home of the best Malbec wine in Etheria and a great place for sightseeing and rock-climbing, Catra comes here almost every year for the Etherian Winter Music Festival, so she knows her way around town pretty well. But the road is full of winding and complicated curves and hills, and there is always the chance that a lost brocket deer will cross your path, so it requires extra attention from the driver.

Thankfully, great multitasker as she is, none of that prevents Catra from trying to fill in the gaps in Adora’s conversation and imagining what Sparkles is probably saying on the other end.

“Oh. Okay. Are you sure that’s all it was?”, she says. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t reply earlier, the phone was attached to the dashboard so Cat— _uh_ — so we could follow the map and… I got a little distracted”, a short pause, then Adora continues. “ _Uh_ – Bow’s coming? Do you think you will be able to take the road tomorrow, then?” A longer pause, Catra takes a sharp left turn. “Okay, let me know, I hope we can still get together when I’m done working”. Catra grips the wheel tighter and clenches her teeth, the jeep speeds up. On the passenger seat, Adora laughs nervously and takes her hand to her forehead again, playing with a strand of her golden bangs. “No, Glimmer, that’s… Mmm. _Heh_ , that’s _not_ a possibility, trust me”, another short pause, a sigh, a suspicious glance at Catra’s direction. “Yeah, I know. It – _ugh_ , it really is”, Adora chuckles and takes a drag of her cigarette. “No, we stopped at Razz for a slice of pie, so we got to Plumeria just now”. Glimmer raises her voice to the point that Catra can almost understand what she’s saying, even though she’s not on speaker. “Wha— _No_ , shut up! Look, we’re gonna be on the road for a _while_ and we need the navigation system back. Oookay, hanging up now”, she adds. “I’ll talk to you soon. Yeah, me too. Bye”.

By the time Adora hangs up, both their cigarettes have gone out and Catra has already written a 10 thousand words fiction work about Adora’s relationship with this Sparkles person. She’s not entirely sure if their attachment is romantic, but there’s certainly a lot of intimacy.

Enough to make Catra uneasy, for some reason.

“ _The_ _Bluetooth device is connected successfully. Do you want to continue driving to: Arxia?”_

“Yes, Darla”, Adora says before attaching her phone to the panel again. “So, that was awkward”, she adds with an anxious smile, turning her head to face Catra as the car passes the many rows of grape vines belonging to Heart Blossom vineyard. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable”.

“Don’t worry about it”, Catra shrugs. “I’m actually sorry for _you_. She sounds like a real piece of work”, Catra adds while trying to picture what Sparkles looks like in her mind, then inadvertently imagining her in bed with Adora, because that’s the kind of masochistic fiction author Catra is.

“Glimmer can be very protective”, Adora answers, “but she’s a really great person. To be honest, I don’t know what I would have done without her and Bow when I first arrived at Eternia”.

Catra glances at Adora’s direction with a confused expression.

“Bow?”

It happens too fast. When Catra looks ahead again, she sees a family of four armadillos trying to cross the road. She gasps in surprise and steps on the brake until the jeep comes to a halt, screeching sounds. Then, the smell of burning rubber coming from the road. “Fffffuuuuck, that was close”.

She turns her head to the side to check on Adora, who has both her hands on the dashboard, breathing sharply, a little startled.

“I’m sorry, they appeared out of nowhere”. Her immediate instinct is to reach out and hold Adora’s hand, but she hesitates half-way. “A-Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was just sudden”.

“Well, nothing happened, so, it’s all good”. She clears her throat. “So… You were going to tell me about Bow”, Catra says, in a way to distract Adora from the scare – and also because she’s genuinely curious.

“Oh”, Adora takes a long breath. “Uh, you know how I mentioned I became best friends with one of my advisor’s sons earlier?”

“Yeah”, Catra nods, drumming her fingers on the dashboard, her eyes on Adora’s fidgeting hands.

“That’s Bow. He and Glimmer know each other since, like… Well, basically forever. I think since high school. Anyway, that’s not the point, heh. _Uh_ , they both live in Bright Moon, but they attended a special course at the Grayskull Institute with Bow’s dad, so they lived with me during that whole semester. We became very close”.

A twinge of bittersweet envy stings Catra’s chest.

She shouldn’t feel upset because Adora made new friends and relationships as her life moved on without her – after all, she did the same. She has Scorpia, Entrapta and D.T., and has had her fair share of hookups and casual flings.

And it’s not that she’s upset, really, but hearing Adora talk about how close she is to her new friendly friends is kind of getting to her in the wrong way.

It hurts her that there’s such a big part of Adora’s life that she has just… Missed.

It hurts her to acknowledge that she’s missed _Adora_.

“Oh”, she replies, speeding up again after checking that the armadillos crossed safely.

“After that… Well, they visit Bow’s dads _a lot_ , like on every major holiday or long weekend. Also, Glimmer works at the Etherian Special Committee on Decolonization, so she travels to Grayskull often and we even get to work together on occasion”.

“How… Relevant”, Catra replies with a dash of irony, as Etheria’s independence from Eternia, as well as the creation of that special committee, hardly made any real difference in her daily life.

Etheria’s recognition as an independent Nation State happened a few months after Adora moved to Grayskull, district capital of Eternia and her birth town. While Eternia and Etheria are still considered sister nations, part of the same sovereign state, Etheria has been working hard to gain more autonomy in relation to its original colonizers – and there’s still a long way to go.

But despite the several parallels we can trace between the specificities of Etheria and Eternia’s geopolitical conflicts and our protagonists’ turbulent personal relationship, let’s not bore ourselves with overly complicated details when there is much more interesting lesbian drama going on.

“Anyway, I guess you should pick the next song, before I cause another accident”.

“Mmm. Janelle Monáe sounds good to you?” Catra says, trying to choose something without any history, recent enough so there wouldn’t be any other unwelcome trip to memory lane.

“Sure”. Adora turns the music back on, then continues. “Glimmer was supposed to come along with us because her aunt lives in Mystacor, so I was going to drop her off on our way. We were planning to spend some time together there after I finished everything in Arxia. It’s been a while since we take a little break”.

Wait.

Is that why Adora decided to come back to Etheria? To be close to her girlfriend and spend dumb romantic weekends together, sunbathing and frolicking in Mystacor, going for silly long walks and horseback riding on the beach?

“But, anyway, she had to stay behind to deal with a last-minute crisis at work and now she’s not sure she will be able to go at all”.

Again, the thought shouldn’t bother Catra that much, Adora is free to go horseback riding with whomever the fuck she wants.

But for some reason…

“You don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s fine”.

“I know I don’t have to. I _want_ to. Just, you know, making conversation”.

“Yeah, well, sorry you might miss your getaway weekend with your _gal pal_ ”, Catra says as casually as she can manage, trying her best not to sound passive-aggressive.

Adora throws her a knowing look out of the corner of her eye, but doesn’t take the bait.

“Yeah, it’s no biggie, I’m sure there will be plenty of other opportunities”.

The song changes and so does the scenery. They pass by roadside florists, vegetable sellers, small honey farms and shops. Because of which, there’s a significant increase in traffic in the area, so they have to slow down.

 _“Warning: your trip became 23 minutes longer due to traffic congestion”_ , Darla’s voice announces.

Maybe Catra should just drop it, enjoy the song and the view. She doesn’t need to interact with Adora. She doesn’t need to know more about her present, much less discuss whatever happened in their complicated past.

Then again…

“So… Is that what we are? Exes?”

The word comes out sharp as a razor as Catra thinks of all they could have been instead of just that, had Adora not left to Grayskull, had she been enough of a reason for her to stay.

Adora pauses at the question, takes it, considers it. “Well… Aren’t we?”, she says, sounding a little insecure, more returning the question than giving an actual answer. “I mean, I know we never… We never really discussed it, at the time. We never called ourselves anything other than friends, but… To me, we – _uh_. I don’t know. I suppose, to me, we are. Exes. For lack of a better word”.

The way Adora is flushed and looking at her now, as if their relationship meant something to her – as if maybe it still does… Catra is not gonna lie, it’s deeply satisfying, in a sense. If anything, it’s more than they ever admitted to each other when they were actually together. It fills her chest with a strange, confusing feeling of expectation, one could almost call _hope_.

It doesn’t fucking change anything, though.

“And your new girl is the reason you transferred back, then?”, she finally asks. “To Bright Moon”.

“No, I came back because – Wait, my what?”

“That Sparkles person sounded a lot like a jealous girlfriend to me”.

“Oh!” Adora almost jumps from her seat. “Ooooh! You think Glimmer is my _girlfriend_?”

Adora proceeds to cackles hysterically, the way she does when she finds something _really_ hilarious and can’t control herself, the same way she did when she pranked Catra with the mouse in the utility closet all those years ago.

One of Catra’s favorite sounds, one she wouldn’t admit to missing until this very moment.

Not to mention, fucking relieving.

“I don’t see why that’s funny”, Catra says humbly, a lot more relaxed for finally getting the answer to one of her questions. “You said you are really close, I just assumed”.

“Oh, my God, it’s not just funny, it’s fucking hysterical”, still laughing, she wipes a tear from her face and catches her breath, letting out a cute humming sound while she’s at it. “Yeah, we’re close, but not like that. Glimmer’s like a sister to me, we would start laughing if we ever tried to... Anyway, _no_! Not my girlfriend”.

“Hold on, then why does she care if you ride with an ex or not?”

“Well…” Adora hesitates, chooses her words. “She’s just a very intense, very protective friend who worries too much, that’s all”.

“Oh?” Catra arches her eyebrow with a flick of her right ear, sensing an opportunity to turn the tables. “And what exactly might she be worried about?”, she smirks.

Catra notes that Adora is embarrassed again, which makes her smirk turn purposefully wicked.

“I thought you said I didn’t have to explain anything to you”, she stutters, clearing her throat.

“I thought you said you wanted to”.

The blush on Adora’s face increases, she snorts, opens an embarrassed smile, then –

“Heeey, look at that!” She yells anxiously, raising her arm across Catra’s face to point to the window. “A honey farm, that’s really impressive, don’t you find that impressive?” Catra’s eyes quickly dart to her left side, attesting that they are passing through a bee estate. “And a beekeeper! I’ve never seen one so close”.

“Seriously?”, Catra scoffs at Adora’s obvious attempt to change the subject but decides to cut her some slack. “Alright, lower your arm, idiot, you’re gonna make me crash”, she chuckles.

Adora does as she asks, a childish look on her face. They trade a quick knowing look, then look ahead.

“You have to admit it’s very cool to be around bees like that, with that costume and all”, she says. “I’ve always wanted to give it a try”.

“Sure, I guess it’s pretty neat, if you’re a complete and total dork”.

“Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment”, Adora answers proudly, throwing another quick glance at Catra.

She hums the song for a couple of verses. Then, her expression shifts. “You know, now that you mentioned it, it’s been forever since Glimmer dated anyone or even talked about having a crush”.

“So?”

“That’s not really like her, because even when she’s not dating anyone, she usually has her eye on someone…”

Catra always found it fascinating how Adora's brain seemed to work, amid utter chaos, processing thoughts as fast as any new synapse could come, going back and forth in its own and unexplainable logic. It could make her appear clueless and dumb at times, then incredibly astute and perceptive the next moment.

Gladly, Catra never had a problem following her train of thought. That didn’t seem to have changed.

“And come to think of it”, she rambles, “Bow’s been pretty slow in that department too, he hardly mentioned anyone since – Well, a long time… Which is _weird_ ”.

Catra sneers at her direction.

“Maybe they’re hooking up with each other”.

“Whaaaat?! No, no, no, no, no”, Adora scoffs dismissively, crossing her arms. “No, that’s impossible, that… Can’t be”, she repeats. “Although…” Her left finger points up, her expression turns into one of suspicion, she takes her hand to her chin. “They _have_ been acting very secretive lately, ever since I moved back to Bright Moon… And, yeah, I’m pretty sure there was something else going on today other than just work, I mean, Glimmer was waaaay too stressed out for it to be just work, plus she was super evasive when I asked about Bow coming with us to Mystacor and – _oh_ , _my God_ , Catra, what if you’re right?!” she enthusiastically taps Catra’s right shoulder, the first physical contact between them that day.

All at once, all her limbs go numb and her shoulder is the only part of her body she can feel.

The touch is light, but it’s enough to make Catra’s mouth go completely dry.

“Yeah, well”, she clears her throat, “wouldn’t be the first time”.

“That explains why Bow got so grumpy last weekend when I mentioned that thing about Glimmer needing to – uh”, she stutters, takes her hand off Catra’s shoulder. “Well, it really doesn’t matter what I said, but the thing is, it all makes sense now”.

“You’re lucky to be ridesharing with such a genius”.

“But why would they keep it a secret from me?”, she asks, her hand goes back to holding her chin.

“Beats me”, Catra scoffs. “I guess you’re gonna have to ask them”.

They discuss the nature of Glimmer and Bow’s imaginary relationship for some time, before the conversation dies out. Adora moves in her seat, turns to the side, facing the window.

A brief moment of silence and Catra figures there will never be a right time to ask this, and she might never get another opportunity.

So, she might as well just ask.

“So, Adora, _uh_ …”, she nervously starts, Adora looks at her with genuine interest.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you move back, anyway? Uh… What made you change your mind about Grayskull?” She risks looking directly at Adora for a moment, but quickly turns away when she feels her cheeks are burning.

Adora takes a long deep breath. Smiles. A hint of nostalgia on her expression. Perhaps some sadness, even.

“Uh, it’s not that I changed my mind, exactly”, she argues before forming a whole sentence. “I’m back because aunt Hope needed me”.

“Ah”, Catra scoffs discreetly. “That makes sense”.

In fact, it makes so much sense, Catra doesn’t know why she didn’t think of it sooner.

********

_Still naked, Adora reluctantly got up to find her phone, forgotten inside the back pocket of her jeans. Catra turned herself over the bed to search for her pack of cigarettes on the nightstand and lit one up, sitting up against the headboard._

_“It’s my aunt Hope, I’m staying with her this weekend”, she briefly said to Catra before answering. “Hi, auntie!” Catra watched attentively as Adora walked around the room in small circles, sometimes stopping to pick something up from the desk – like a book or a picture frame. “Yeah, I’m still at work, but I’m almost done”, she lied. “We got a little delayed doing inventory”, another lie. “No, you don’t have to pick me up! Yeah, I’m going home in a second. Twenty minutes, tops”, she hurriedly started picking her clothes up from the floor. “Uh-huh. Don’t worry”, she reassured. “I know. No, this will be the last time, I promise”._

_Adora sounded a little like a nervous teenager, Catra thought, with no agency over her own life, having to lie about her whereabouts. Also, like a soldier, promptly putting her clothes back on without questioning or reasoning._

_As someone who had cut all ties with her family, Catra found that strange, to say that least._

_“So… This is the last time?”, she asked teasingly when Adora hung up._

_Adora chuckled, went to her, placed a kiss on her lips._

_“I had to tell her something”, Adora sighed. And when she noticed Catra’s look, she continued. “Aunt Hope means well, I love her to pieces, but she micromanages my schedule a lot. Also, she’s not a fan of me working at the diner, thinks I should focus all my efforts into research and preparing for grad school at Grayskull”._

_“Well, tell her to fuck off for the night. It’s late enough as it is, anyway, it’s even safer if you go home in the morning”._

_“Sorry, I really wish I could, but… I promised her and I know she would get very worried if I didn’t come back”._

_“I really can’t relate”, Catra said, taking a drag of her cigarette. “My mom doesn’t give a flying fuck about my whereabouts”._

_“Yeah, Hope is the complete opposite, I guess. I think losing her brother in the accident made her extra wigged out, you know? It got better when I moved to live in Bright Moon campus, but whenever I’m staying at her place we sort of go back to our old dynamic”, she said, putting her shirt on. “Not like I can complain, aunt Hope did everything she could to raise me exactly like my parents would have wanted”._

_Her expression turned nostalgic, her eyes darted to the floor. Adora didn’t talk about her parents much, but Catra knew they died in an accident when she was very young – that was why she moved to Etheria, that was how she ended up living with her aunt._

_Catra held her hand. Adora’s eyes went to their intertwined fingers. She smiled. “Well, no reason to talk about that now, we were having such a great time”._

_“Were we?”, Catra teased. “Exactly how great, princess?”_

_Adora smiled awkwardly and came closer for a kiss, the cigarette smoke hovering in the air between them. “Pretty fucking great”, she said as they parted._

_“Careful, you’re gonna go home smelling like cigarettes”, Catra advised._

_“Oh, that’s okay”, she said, leaning in for another kiss – a steamier one, this time. “I kind of like it”._

_“Clearly, I’m a bad influence on you”._

_“Now you sound just like my aunt”, she joked. “Which reminds me…”_

_“You should go”._

_“Yeah”._

********

It always goes down to Adora’s family controlling her choices, doesn’t it? She didn’t admit to it in the end, but Catra’s pretty sure she moved away to Grayskull to follow _their_ plan, their purpose; to continue her late parents’ work. All her life she was prepared to be this person who would carry the responsibility over the family’s legacy – she started reading First Ones’ documents before she even said her first words, for crying out loud. Adora was groomed to become an intellectual, to fulfill her parents dream of seeing their daughter get a degree from Grayskull, to keep the family name alive through her work. And after her parents died, Hope was the person who made sure she sticked to that plan.

“Before you go there, it’s not what you think”, Adora declares. “Well, not exactly”.

“What do you mean?”, Catra says, finally able to speed up a little, as the traffic is starting to clear out a little.

“Look, I didn’t tell this to anyone, not even Bow or Glimmer, because we don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with yet”.

“Oh, sure, it’s okay”, Catra says, more concerned now, but trying not to show. “I understand if it’s personal and you don’t want to tell me”.

“I’m worried about aunt Hope, Catra”, she blurts out. “Her health, I mean”.

Oh.

That's not at all what Catra expected to hear.

Adora turns to look through the window again, stares at the road. “It could still be just nothing, the doctors are investigating. She’s been having these memory lapses and weird personality swings, like she's a whole different person all of a sudden. She didn’t want me to move back to Etheria, still stuck in that loop about my degree, and my parents and their dreams, and you know…" She sighs. "I just don’t care anymore. I was all alone there, and I already gave up so much over a stupid piece of paper”, she nervously looks at Catra for a moment, then looks away again. “Anyway, I thought it was time. I wanted to be around. My family, my friends. Everyone that matters is here. I can complete my studies in Bright Moon just fine. Maybe that’s what I should have done from the start”.

“Fuck, Adora, I’m sorry”. Catra really is. So, so sorry. She knows how important Adora’s family is to her – that was always the thing that set them apart.

“Yeah, it might not be anything big, I’m trying to take my mind of it, not to worry in advance”.

Now, _that_ is most likely a blatant lie. Adora has always been the kind of person who worries herself out of existence in advance.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay”, she tries to sound comforting, but she’s not the best at words.

“Yeah, I know”.

She doesn’t notice taking her hand to Adora’s, holding it tight. It’s instinctive, like a spontaneous reflex. Feels right.

When she _does_ notice it, though, she pulls her hand right back. “Sorry”, she blushes awkwardly.

“Don’t be”, Adora says, not looking through the window anymore, but directly at Catra. “It feels good to be able to talk about it with someone”.

“Uh… Do you want to stop for a while? To talk about it, maybe?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Catra, we’re late enough as it is”.

“Are you sure? We can go back to one of the honey shops, I’ll bet I can talk them into letting you wear that dorky costume you liked so much”.

“I’m sure”, she reassures, smiles with gratitude. “But thank you. It means a lot”.

“So, was that what you had in mind when you said you wanted to catch up?”.

“No, it wasn’t”, she chuckles, her finger drawing absentminded circles on the dashboard.

She looks more relaxed, now. They both do. “But anyway, since we’re being all friendly and asking stuff now…”

“Oh, fuck, here it comes”, Catra teases, searching for her pack of cigarettes.

“I've been meaning to ask... About that Scorpia – Isn’t that her name?”

“Yeah, what about her?” Catra lights a cigarette, offers one to Adora, who shakes her head in refusal.

“Is she just your roommate, or…?”

Catra smirks. “Or… What?”

“Well, you said you lived with her, but it kind of sounded like you were, uh…”, she babbles and Catra plays dumb.

“Sorry, Adora, I just don’t understand your question, you’re gonna have to be a little clearer”.

“Ugh, you’re still the same stubborn brat, aren’t you?”

“I still am”, she smiles proudly.

The jeep crosses a bridge, the traffic decreases, another of Plumeria's vineyards appears. A long way to go - but the distance seems, somehow, more bearable now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured album:
> 
> Janelle Monáe - Dirty computer
> 
> The whole thing. A great one for the road :)


	4. Salineas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls make a quick stop in Salineas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)
> 
> Here I am, with another bittersweet chapter of this crazy journey for you to read. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I know that I had fun writing it.
> 
> Thank you for reading! And when you do, I would love to read your thoughts about it.
> 
> Stay safe :)

The awkward pauses don’t disappear altogether, but they decrease significantly. As Plumeria lags behind and the Serpentine sea appears on the horizon, the remaining uncomfortable silences begin to taste differently: not sweet, but at least not as sour. If anything, they stand as living evidence that Catra and Adora’s past connection still echoes, still lingers.

And that maybe it’s not as _past_ as Catra would like it to be – for her, at least.

They are not the same people that they used to be, that’s for sure. But, then again, they also _are_. As the hours go by, they trail their way back into their old dynamic, to what made them such a good pair, without even noticing it. The effect it has on Catra is, admittedly, unpredicted. She didn’t expect to _enjoy_ being around Adora again. She didn’t expect to _want_ it.

A part of her feels pathetic about it and wants to fight it, resist it, to hurt Adora with her words before Adora has the chance to hurt her back – old habits of youth that Catra thought she had overcome by now. Another part of her… Well, maybe it’s the fact that their encounter has a clear expiration date, much like their former relationship did, but, for some reason, Catra doesn’t want it to go to waste.

So, when she’s not thinking, when she’s not exhausting herself trying to find balance between those two extreme feelings, when she’s just letting it happen… She’s actually having fun.

It’s thrilling that she still knows how to get to Adora, and although she’s not a fan of Adora being just as able to get to _her_ , it seems like a fair bargain. Apparently, she loves having that power more than she hates the fact that Adora has the same power over her.

So, she uses it, choosing her words carefully and purposefully, releasing and retaining information so as not to jeopardize that fleeting advantage, turning every casual conversation into a tease, all the while secretly flattered to know that Adora is curious about her, eager to find out more about her current life.

None of them is clear about their relationship status, and none of them dares to _ask_ directly. They drop a few hints, dodge and place a few leading questions, but besides that, they seem to be having fun in keeping each other guessing. Like an unspoken challenge, in which the loser is the one who breaks and gives in to their curiosity.

In between banters from both sides, they laugh and tease each other, but also exchange actual information. She tells her about Scorpia’s drawing skills and her lousy co-workers, and about how her friend Entrapta was the one who designed Darla, the virtual assistant AI technology Adora uses. In return, she learns that the first artifact Adora worked on when she moved to Eternia was an ancient First Ones’ sword – hence the tattoo. She also discovers that Adora gave up playing volleyball right in the first year of graduate school because she couldn’t fit it in her busy schedule, and that before meeting Bow and Glimmer she had hardly made any close friends there.

She seems bitter, at times, when talking about her life in Grayskull. Catra is curious to find out more, but they have been tiptoeing around potentially heavy subjects since Adora told her about her aunt’s disease.

Of course, Catra is aware that she’s playing a dangerous game, but she _can’t help but play it_. She plays it, even if she knows her heart might break at their next stop and these old wounds might sting as if they were new. She plays it, even if she knows that when they reach Arxia it will all be over again, and there will be nothing left of Adora except for those fond yet painful memories she must live with, the ones that resurface on especially lonely nights or when she sees something random that reminds her of Adora.

It’s a familiar kind of ache, by now, to the point it is almost comforting, almost soothing. Maybe that explains why five years weren’t enough for Catra to _really_ let Adora go – when pain is all you have left out of someone you loved and lost, it is easy to get attached to it, to grow accustomed to it. 

Yes, she could reach out, talk it over, sort things out, ask Adora all those unanswered questions and finally admit how she felt for her, finally say all the things she didn’t get to say when Adora left her waiting on that fateful night at the planetarium terrace.

But that is a level of vulnerability Catra neither wants to accept nor is ready to submit to, especially within the confined space of a car, and perhaps most importantly because that would mean she would also have to confront her own part in their break-up, the hurtful words she said, the lies she told to cover up her true feelings when she was too afraid to admit them.

On top of that, talking about it now would mean ruining whatever time they have left going through more pain – new, unfamiliar, unnecessary pain.

So, Catra dances around her scars, scratching and teasing the surface of their past, teasing just enough for it to hurt sometimes, but never really diving into any of their unresolved issues. It hurts, but not enough to break that spell they are both under, not enough to wake her up from that dream, that miracle of seeing Adora again and having her at arm’s length, even if just for a few hours.

And for her absolute delight, Adora dances along with her – though not literarily, unfortunately.

Wait, did I write _unfortunately?_

No, I meant _obviously_.

Obviously.

“Do you remember Mermista, my roommate in college?” Adora says casually, closing the window as the irritating sound of seagulls mewing in the sky gets louder. The sun begins to set behind the jeep, exquisite hues from gold to heather paint the sky. “She came from Salineas, originally. I wonder what happened to her”, she stares through the window, reclines her seat back, turns herself to Catra’s side again.

“You must be thinking of another one of your exes”, Catra grins with wickedness, catching the word _princess_ just before it escaped her mouth. Since they started driving, this had not been the first time she had almost let her favorite pet name for Adora slip out of her throat, and the more time they spent together, the more she suspected it wouldn't be the last. “I didn't meet your roommate back then”.

“I _know_ you have never met her”, Adora visibly grinds her teeth, rolls her eyes. “I mean, I used to _talk_ _about_ her”.

“Ooooh, riiiiight”, she chuckles teasingly, “yeah, sure, I remember”. One corner of Adora’s lips is pulled in for a knowing smile. “Hey, don’t even think about sleeping now, you’re taking the wheel in a minute”.

“ _Wha_ – I wasn’t planning on sleeping”, Adora snorts with a high-pitched voice that pricks Catra’s ear in the most delightful of ways.

“Yeah, yeah, you say that now, then, next thing I know, you’re”. 

“I don’t snore!” She protests outraged. “Okay, I’m not gonna do this, so you know what? As a gesture of good faith”, she grumbles, putting her seat up but not completely. “There. Happy?”.

“Oh, muuuch better”, she smirks.

“If I doze off when it’s my turn to drive, both our deaths are going to be on your shoulders, I hope you know that”, Adora threats playfully.

“Well, if that means I get to take you down with me, I’m a hundred percent okay with that”, she chuckles, and Adora follows.

“Oh, I see it now”, she says with an insinuating smile. “That’s your ultimate plan to beat me, isn’t it?”

“You’ve got me”, Catra mocks. “I’ve been laying low all this time just waiting for an opportunity to destroy you”.

Adora looks at her while Catra keeps her eyes on the road, and Catra finds it incredibly disturbing to have Adora's gaze examining her like this again, reading her expressions as if she were the research object of a dedicated language student trying to decipher an ancient code.

And maybe the metaphor works because that is exactly the case.

She looks unsure about something, as if there were something else she wanted to say. Her cheek dimple trembles, she squints a little.

Then she digresses.

“You two would get along well, I think. You and Mermista. You have the same energy, kind of”. Catra throws her a curious glance, wondering what Adora could possibly mean by that. “Oh, plus, she had a thing for murder mystery novels, would have made a great detective. Or murderer. Or _both_. Now, that would be a twist”.

“Sounds like we have a lot in common”. Catra comments. “Is she hot?” she asks with mischief, already waiting for Adora’s smile to vanish, half-expecting to get her flustered and blushing at the question.

“Oh, she’s _very_ hot”, Adora says, apparently unaffected by Catra’s attempted banter this time. For some reason, the unexpected reaction makes Catra’s fingers turn to fists around the wheel. “She was, at least, I wouldn’t know if that changed in five years”.

That was the most dangerous part of the game they were playing – not Adora being able to beat her, exactly, but Catra’s efforts backfiring and not giving her the expected result.

“Maybe you should give me her number, then”, she adds, trying to push the envelope even further, and when _that_ gets her exactly the response she was looking for, she smirks.

“Can’t help you there”. Adora bites her lip, glances at her quickly, looks away. “We lost contact when I moved away”.

“Bummer”. Catra teases. “Well, it’s her loss”.

_“You are approaching the port district of the Salineas metropolitan area”,_ Darla's voice warns _, "the speed limit in this region is set at 30 miles per hour, please reduce your speed to comply with local traffic laws”._

Catra slows down, checking the clock on the jeep’s dashboard. If everything runs smoothly, they should cross the Waste in the nick of time and get to Arxia later that same night – and then this emotional rollercoaster will be over. 

“Anyway, she had this on-an-off long distance boyfriend or something. I’ve never met him, because he lived here in Salineas, also they were constantly breaking up and getting back together”, Adora rambles, takes the subject elsewhere. “I would like to think they reunited after graduation and worked things out”.

“Yeah, right. Happily ever after, huh?”, Catra says cynically. “Whoever gets that these days?”

“I don’t know about ever after, but… Well, it doesn’t have to be _ever after_ for it to be happy, I think. Time is a relative concept when it comes to relationships. And so is happiness”. Adora is looking through the window again, playing with her hair, a little introspective. “Even if they are not together anymore, I would like to think they gave it a try, because they really liked each other and – uh”. She stops herself, looks at Catra with uncertainty.

“And…?”

“And, uh. I think it’s a shame when things like these go to waste”.

Catra takes a left turn and shoots Adora a look. She’s still playing with her hair, her sunglasses are off, her face is rosy, her cheek dimple is trembling. The sun is setting right behind her now, and Catra feels suddenly sad, so sad that she can’t take a picture of this, that she won’t be able to keep any part of this single moment.

Because it’s already gone.

“Sure, that sounds really cute on paper, but if it’s all going to end, anyway… Why bother? Why put so much energy into something that is just going to fall apart eventually?”

A long, almost morbid pause. Only the sound of St. Vincent’s voice singing _you’re the only mother fucker in the city who can stand me_.

“Yeah, you’re probably right”.

Another uncomfortable silence, Adora turns the volume up. _I have lost a hero, I have lost a friend, but for you, darling, I’d do it all again_.

So, remember how Catra doesn’t want to ruin this? She doesn’t.

“Uh, hey, should we stop to go to the bathroom and eat something before we change driving turns?”

“Are you sure?” Adora says. “I mean, I’d be cool with that, but you’re on a tighter schedule than I am”.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but if I don’t eat something, I’m gonna pass out. We can stop at one of those restaurants at the entrance to Salineas, so we don’t stray too far from the road. Oh, and I also wanted to check in with Scorpia, she said she would take Melog to the vet”.

“Melog!” Adora's eyes go bright with joy, she opens a wide smile. "Wait, is there something wrong with him?" Her expression quickly changes, she frowns with concern.

“Oh, no, nothing wrong, one of his eyes is a little irritated. He probably bumped it somewhere or whatever, who knows what that cat is up to when no one’s home. The problem is that Scorpia is this six-foot-tall buff giant who can crack your ribs apart with a single hug, and yet, somehow, she’s too afraid to apply the eye drops to Melog’s eye. So, I asked her to take him to the vet”.

“Seriously? Why would she be afraid of Melog? _Did she do something to him?_ ” Her tone changes from curiosity to maternal protective suspicion, which is undeniably cute. “If she did, I don’t care if she’s a six-foot-tall buff giant, I mean, can take her… I can take her down”.

“Could that fight involve oil of some kind?” Catra snickers, Adora sticks her tongue out to her. “Relax, dummy, Scorpia wouldn’t harm a fly, let alone Melog. No, she has a good reason to be afraid of him. Once he went total psycho on her legs, tried to climb on her jeans, scratched up her thighs when she got frightened”.

“Ouch”, Adora grimaces. “Okay, so I won’t kick her ass, then”.

“Right? I can't blame her. Besides, giving any type of medicine to a cat can definitely be a challenge, even for the owner. Fuck, right when I adopted Melog, I was covered with scratches all the fucking time”, recalls Catra.

“Yeah, I, uh… I remember”, Adora says softly, a slight pink blush turning up on her cheeks again, a look in her eyes that spells exactly what she’s thinking of. And that strike of pain, that friendly kind of pain, the one that keeps Catra warm on the nights in which she allows herself to think of Adora, it tugs her chest again. “Anyway, I would love to see him, if you have a recent picture”.

“I might have a few”. Catra smiles affectionately. “Let’s pick somewhere to eat and I’ll show you”.

********

**FIVE YEARS AND TWO MONTHS EARLIER**

_“Gimme!” Adora said, trying to steal Catra’s phone from her hand. But Catra wasn’t about to give it up without a fight, not when she could make Adora work for it. The blonde laughed and knelt on the bed to straddle her, both of them half-naked – Adora wearing only an old t-shirt, Catra with nothing but her gray boy shorts. “Come on, Catra, let me see!”._

_It had been nearly two weeks since the last time they saw each other. Adora’s decision to resign from Blue Blanket, highly influenced by her controlling aunt Hope, made it difficult for them to meet, let alone be alone in the same room together._

_That was probably for the best, anyway: Catra knew that Adora was preparing her graduate applications for Grayskull Institute and it wouldn’t be long before she had to go. Not that Catra would miss her or anything, but it was better to be safe than sorry in this kind of dead-end situation._

_So, when Adora sent a message to Catra that night, telling her that her aunt was out of town for the whole weekend and asking her to come over to her house in Bright Moon, Catra almost declined the invitation._

_Almost._

_After all, she never got emotionally involved with anyone before, this wouldn’t be the first time._

_Yeah._

_She could handle it._

_“You’re gonna have to earn it, princess”, Catra said, clutching at her cell phone tightly, hiding it behind her back, laughing hysterically as Adora tried to take it from her._

_After a quick and playful tussle on the bed, that involved tickling, hair pulling and verbal teasing, they both ended up panting, Catra with her arms trapped above her head, Adora holding both her wrists with one of her hands. Her cheeks were flushed from the heated scuffle, her eyes were fixed on Catra’s, staring at her with intensity._

_That smug smile hung on her stupid, gorgeous face._

_Catra never thought it was possible to want someone so fucking badly._

_Their breathing became heavy as they stared into each other, their laughter disappeared in the midst of the thin layer of excitement that was building between them. Adora's gaze wandered over Catra's body, full of renewed intention, ready to go for another round._

_Adora’s free hand stroked the scratch marks on Catra’s abdomen – a gift from Melog, the kitten she had recently rescued from a cardboard box left at the back of the diner, and also the reason for their little wrestle._

_“Poor thing, all scratched up like that”, Adora said tenderly, without any hint of mockery. She leaned over and kissed the light pink stripes on Catra’s stomach, lightly caressing her sides while still firmly holding her arms down with one hand._

_“You know… In a different context, I wouldn’t complain about being scratched”, Catra whispered huskily, shivering under Adora’s touches. The blonde gasped, her uneven breath warm against Catra’s tanned skin. She looked up with a curious smile._

_“Really?” Catra’s heart rate picked up and her muscles flexed with the ticklish sensation of Adora’s barely-there touch on her waist, and with the moisture of Adora’s lips on her belly, slowly making their way to her tits. “That’s interesting”. Her touches became significantly rougher, nails went down Catra’s thighs, Adora’s one free hand clumsily pulled her underwear off._

_“Thought you wanted to see the cat”, Catra attempted to tease, her voice hoarse and ragged as Adora’s mouth worked on her nipple, strands of blonde hair softly licking her sides, nails still going up and down her thighs._

_If she wanted to sound cool, her soft moans were definitely betraying her._

_“I don’t know, I’m satisfied with what I’m seeing right now”, Adora said, smiling against Catra’s breast, looking up to find her gaze, then closing her eyes to nibble on Catra’s nipple again._

_“Oh, are you, princess?” Catra chuckled, gasping when she felt the hand on her wrists press harder before going down her arm to grip the back of her neck, Adora's nails sending chills down her spine, that unbearable kind of heat rising from between her legs._

_“Mm-hmm”, Adora muttered absently, her hand reaching down Catra’s thighs, spreading them open. “Very… Satisfied”, she leaned down again to whisper in Catra’s ear, her hot breath sending another wave of goosebumps through Catra’s skin. “And you said I have to earn it…” Adora kissed her way up to Catra’s lips, inviting her tongue into her mouth, while a long thick finger teased her entrance, coating itself with warm slick before pushing all the way in. “I want to earn it”._

_Catra whimpered, trapped under Adora's strong figure, not quite able to move her hips to acquire the kind of friction she wanted – which Adora must have noticed, because she quickly readjusted her straddle to be on top of just one of Catra's legs, ensuring more freedom for her to move while also grinding on Catra's thigh. A second digit came in and Adora's pace increased at a delicious, mind numbing rate._

_Still, the whole time, Catra asked, begged for “more”._

_More friction, more speed, more pressure._

_More of Adora’s scent, more of her touch, more of her skin._

_And right then and there, at the mercy of Adora’s thrusts, Catra cursed the gods and the universe with whatever energy she had left on her brain to process words, because she knew that wouldn’t last, that Adora would go away sooner rather than later, and that she would never again be able to taste her kiss, feel the sweet pressure of Adora’s palm against her clit, nor her deep, relentless and vigorous plunges touching that perfect spot. And, ah, holy fucking shit, if only…!, Catra thought briefly before thoughts lost her completely; fuck, fuck, fuck, she thought, just before that white wave of heat consumed her whole; if only…_

_If only Adora could stay._

********

“Should we stay?” Adora asks hesitantly, while browsing through the menu. “I looked this place up online and found it reopened like four times because the truck caught on fire, which sounds… Well, sketchy, at best”.

“Food’s supposed to be good, though, four and a half stars”, Catra shrugs. “As long as they don’t burn my meal, I have no problem with arsonists”.

Adora chuckles. “Always the moral compass”.

“What can I say, it’s a gift”.

“It is. An impressive one”.

“Okay, can we eat a sandwich without worrying about the ethical implications involved?” Catra smiles. “I have enough of that on my job, already”.

“Okay, okay, you’re right”, she says, getting up to go to the bathroom.

“Always am”, Catra grins smugly, taking a look at the menu.

Salineas is the home of the largest international port complex on Etheria, the most important foreign trade route in the continent, which has been the subject of many economic disputes between Etheria and Eternia, the main reason for Etheria’s colonization, due to its strategic and privileged location.

Currently, the city is known for its gambling, fine dining, entertainment and energetic nightlife. The perfect spot to go batshit drunk and forget all about it in the morning, if you’re into that kind of thing, but also a great place to find good food. Much more populous than its neighboring cities, Salineas is a better suited location for a stop than Plumeria would have been, although Catra and Adora won’t be able to appreciate it fully, since they are on a tight schedule. After looking into a few options, Catra suggested a sandwich food truck near the Seaworthy bay, where at least they can look at the ocean and stretch their legs for a while.

The owner is… Let’s just say, eccentric. He kind of looks like the abandoned offspring of Han Solo and Captain Hook – with a mustache, a vest and a bandana around his neck. He also acts like a character from a bad musical film from the 80’s, all the way down to the jazz hands, and speaks like he’s the protagonist of a Greek tragedy.

He makes a kickass seafood sandwich, though, according to the reviews, and Catra is secretly looking forward to it. In fact, between this and the delicious slice of pie from Razz, this trip is proving to be a remarkable gastronomic experience. Not to mention that the view is definitely something else, especially now that the full moon is making its appearance, rising from under the Serpentine sea.

As for the company…

“And Melog, how is he?” Adora comes back from the bathroom and takes her seat at the small wooden table, pulling her chair to Catra’s side so she can also look at the ocean.

“Just got out of the phone with my roommate. He’s fine”, Catra takes a drag on her cigarette, aware of the proximity between her and Adora, being careful not to make any sudden movements.

“That’s a relief”, she says with a smile, pulling her hair up in a high ponytail – and, you know, there should be laws that prevent exes from having great arms like that, or at least one forbidding them to show them off being so close.

“Uh. Yeah”. Catra blinks, gazes ahead, keeps the conversation going while trying to be indifferent to Adora’s insanely distracting upper limbs. “But I have the feeling that she is crushing hard on Melog’s vet. She kept asking if there were any reason she should go back there tomorrow, like any other medicine or vaccine or just to check him up”. Catra sneers. “Also, she made these weird, not-at-all subtle questions about her”.

“And what did you tell her?”, Adora lowers her arms after fixing her ponytail.

“Me? What could I even say?”, Catra scoffs. “As if I would know anything about Melog’s vet’s personal interests or relationship status. I only care about her professional qualifications, so it’s not really my business if she’s into astrology, does yoga and takes care of plants on her spare time”.

“Okay, that’s… Very specific, now it totally sounds like you did a full background check on her”.

Catra smiles, sends Adora a guilty kind of look. “Well, I wouldn’t trust my cat with just about anyone, right? Can’t blame me for doing some harmless research beforehand, I had to make sure she wasn’t a crazy individual”.

“You’re hopeless”, Adora chuckles, shakes her head.

“I’m a professional, there’s a difference”, Catra playfully raises a finger at Adora, as if to emphasize the point she was trying to make.

The food truck owner’s voice cuts through their conversation as he places their sandwiches on the table.

“Behold! The most delicious sub you two are going to taste in your whole lives, and that is an outright _gua-ran-tee_ ”, he sing-songs.

“Setting the bar pretty high, aren’t you?”, Catra teases. “Seems like a lot of bullshit to me. What do you think, Adora?”

“I agree”, she nods humorously. “And you know what they say about sailor stories…”

“All talk and no substance, right?”

“Please!” He snorts, gesturing dramatically. “Other seafood sandwiches bow down in humble recognition of the superiority of the _Dragon’s Daughter Seven’s_ sub, the epitome of all sandwiches. Sonnets have been written in its honor, sea chanties have been sung, tragedies have occurred in its name; for _this_ sandwich was inspired by no one other than my muse, my love, my one and only, my very own mermaid of the seas. So, prepare yourselves, my sweet ladies, because your mouths are in for the tastiest, juiciest, most life-changing _adventure_ of all time. And you can take my word for it or I’ll give you two the sandwich free of charge”.

“That deal sounds really good to me”.

“We’ll let you know”, Adora smiles and waves as he goes back to the food truck.

“You certainly will!”, he says.

Right after he’s gone, they look at each other and burst out laughing.

“He sounds a lot like you and that pie from earlier”, Catra jokes, putting her cigarette out.

“Hey, if this sandwich is anything like Razz’s pie, I’ll be ready to defend it with my own life”.

“You feel so strongly about food, I’ll never understand it”.

They unwrap the sandwiches and start eating.

“So, _professional._ Tell me more about your job. Do you like it?” Adora asks while taking her first bite. “Fuck, okay, he definitely wasn’t exaggerating. This is… This is _good_ ”.

“Yeah, it’s good enough”, Catra replies with nonchalance. Adora looks at her quizzically, almost in shock, probably thinking she’s talking about the food. “Oh, no, before you jump at me to defend its honor, the sub is pretty great. I meant my job”. Adora nods, shows a bit of relief for the sake of the sandwich, then swallows, signaling for Catra to continue. “Honestly, there’s not much to tell. It’s as good as any paid job would be. There are great days, but there are also those in which I want to punch someone in the face”.

“Oh, is that why you took on kickboxing?” Adora arches her eyebrow, takes her hand below her chin.

Catra chuckles. “It could be an explanation, I’ve never gave it that much thought”. She takes another bite of her sub. Damn, it’s delicious. For all Catra cares, this guy can set his truck on fire as many times as he wants. Anyone who cooks like that should have a lifetime get out of jail free card. “But yeah, in general, I really like it. It pays really well. And it’s fun playing detective, snooping around, digging through other people’s dirty past, I really like it”.

“Yeah, I bet Melog’s vet would have something to say about that”, Adora taunts.

Catra laughs with her mouth full, then continues. “Anyway, it’s cool because I get a lot of field work, so I’m not cooked up inside an office all the time. The job itself is alright, there are many perks. What kills it the system, which is completely fucked up”.

“I don’t think I would handle that”. Adora wipes the sauce off her fingers with a napkin, then uses it to clean her mouth and chin. “I think it would break me. Working with anything related to law or justice, really. To be that close to corruption and not be able to do anything about it, not be able to fix it. I think I would end up with an ulcer, at the very least”, she smiles, placing the napkin back on the table.

“Yeah, you’re, _uh_ – you _used to be_ too much of a fixer upper, if I remember it well”.

Adora’s thumb starts absently stroking her own pale cheek, jawline, then lower lip.

“Right. I should probably fix that, huh?” She smiles ironically.

“Idiot”. Catra says softly, rolling her eyes. “But, yeah, it can be a tricky line of work for the hero types like you, emotionally and psychologically speaking. And it’s a shame, because that ends up being a big part of the problem. Some of the best people end up broken or swallowed by the system, otherwise they don’t survive in it”.

“Oooh, so you think I’m one of the _best_ people?” Adora cocks one eyebrow, grins smugly. “Interesting”.

“Fuck, _that’s_ what your big dumb brain got out of what I said?”. Catra grunts and smirks right back at her. “No, I meant annoyingly good people, people with strong morals and high principles and impossible standards, people who still believe in stupid things like happily ever after and such”.

“Nope, you can’t take it back”, she says with a bratty tone. “I’m one of the _best_ people”, she sings.

“Shut up, I said no such thing”. Catra chuckles and playfully slaps Adora’s shoulder. Still laughing, Adora lightly bites her thumbnail and looks at Catra, then at her hand, still resting on her shoulder. She looks up to Catra’s eyes, her lips twitch, her pupils go wide.

And after such a long and emotional day, that may be the image that ruins Catra altogether, the last straw, the very cause of her undoing. Because what comes next is that tingling sensation at her fingertips, those goosebumps at the back of her earlobe and at the base of her neck. What comes next are the thoughts that Catra has been struggling so hard not to think about all day, flooding through the thick walls of reason she built in order to repress them. What comes next is the rush that reminds her that there’s blood running through her veins, that her body is alive and that it wants exactly one single thing.

She takes her hand off Adora’s shoulder, turns her gaze to the food truck, then to the ocean. She swallows, takes a deep breath, recomposes.

A drink now would be fucking _fantastic_.

They both felt it. The moment, I mean. It’s written all over Adora’s face and Catra still knows how to read it. But just as quickly as it came, they refuse it; push it away.

Catra clears her throat, goes for her pack of cigarettes.

“Hey, Adora?”

“Yeah?”, she says, fiddling with her cell phone.

“Are you… Happy? _Uh_ , I mean. With your career. With your decision to leave Etheria”.

Adora takes a deep breath, her expression goes grave. She smiles, but it’s not exactly a smile of joy. “Well, I’m good at it. It serves its purpose”.

“Oh, I’m sure of it. And that’s really great. But that’s not what I asked”.

Adora turns to face her, and with that movement they are dangerously close to each other again. She sighs, thinks a little before answering. “Well... It’s what I’m supposed to be doing. So, in that sense, yeah. I guess… Me being _happy_ about my work is a concept that never really occurred to me. It’s not something I’m supposed to be happy at, I think. I just… Do what I have to do”.

“According to whom?”

Adora glances at her knowingly, drums her fingers on the table, looks the other way

“That’s a great question, but, uh…” She stands up nervously, her hand goes to Catra’s shoulder, then off. “I have to use the bathroom”, she tries an awkward smile when Catra looks up to meet her gaze.

It seems that Catra is not the only one who is not willing to go through her unresolved issues.

“Saved by that ridiculously small bladder of yours”, Catra teases.

Adora glances at her, smiles, then turns to walk away.

Catra finishes her cigarette, then stands up. She makes her way to the food truck, taking the firm’s corporate credit card out of her wallet to pay their bill.

“Moment of the truth!” The chirpy owner yells dramatically. “Was I right?”

“Well, as much as I would love to get a free sandwich, I can’t lie to you”. Catra hands him the credit card.

“ _Ha-ha_! I knew it!” He claps in triumph, then makes a dramatic gesture with his hand. “A life-changing experience, was it not?”

“Sure, man, whatever you say”, Catra chuckles. “Great sandwich”.

“Now, just between you and me, do you want to know what my secret ingredient is?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway”.

“ _Love_ is the secret ingredient!” Another dramatic hand gesture. Oh, boy.

“Yep, I bet it is”, Catra types the pin code on the credit card machine.

“The love and care of my sweet Mermista”, he daydreams. “The light of my life, the air in my lungs”.

Wait.

Say that again?

“Sorry, what did you say her name was?”

“Mermista!” He shouts. Is it possible that he is talking about a different Mermista? It’s not really a common name. He takes his cell phone and shows Catra a picture. The woman looks about her age and has a blasé look that fits Adora’s description – also, she wasn’t kidding when she said the girl was very hot. “Look at her. The most perfect, most precious treasure I could ever find. My Mermista makes me so happy, I thank the sea spirits every day for having the privilege to share a bed with her”.

Huh. Would you look at that…

What were the fucking odds? They _did_ end up together. That’s… Something to think about.

Catra opens a small smile as she waits for the receipt.

“It looks like you really love her”, she admits.

“More than anything. And to think that I used to be the kind of guy who wouldn’t stay put, always restless, always chasing one adventure after the other… But I promise you this: there’s no adventure as great as going home in the end of the day and have my dear Mermista sleeping by my side”.

Ah.

There’s that slight twinge of not-so-soothing pain again. Catra feels it coming as she watches Adora walking towards her, as she hears this surreal guy enthusiastically speaking about how lucky he is because he gets to sleep with the love of his dumb life.

And Catra knows what he’s talking about.

She just wishes that she didn’t agree with him.

********

_“Mmph”._

_It must had been two in the morning when Catra opened her eyes, a little startled, not immediately recognizing the bed she was sleeping on, or the sound that woke her up. She was wearing one of Adora’s old volleyball jerseys, as she did not know she would be sleeping over when she decided to come to Adora’s aunt’s house that night._

_“You can have this one, since you’re so into sports”, Adora had teased, just before they went to sleep. To say that the shirt looked like a dress on Catra was an understatement, it made Adora laugh for a solid minute or two, but Catra felt so comfortable, she really didn’t mind._

_It wasn’t her plan or her intention to stay after having sex, after all, as Catra would more than often say, they were “just having fun”._

_But Adora made the proposition seem… Irresistible. And she was too tired to say no, anyway. Or at least that was how she was trying to rationalize the situation._

_Catra turned to her side, Adora was lying on her back, sound asleep. She looked so beautiful like that, her hair all messy, her mouth slightly parted and a peaceful expression on her face. It made Catra smile, her chest was suddenly filled with warmth._

_She was about to close her eyes again when that peaceful expression transitioned into one of distress._

_“Mmmph”, Adora mumbled, tossing and turning on the bed. “No”._

_Something was off. Adora started to shake._

_Catra didn’t know how to react._

_“Don’t”, Adora muttered, still asleep, still shaking._

_Whatever she was dreaming about, it was intense._

_“I’m sorry”, she whispered, so much sadness in her voice. It broke Catra’s heart – and for the record, until that night, she wasn’t sure she even had a heart to begin with. “I’m so, so sorry”, Adora repeated._

_And when Adora started to whimper, almost as if she were crying, Catra was overcome by a revolting sensation. She couldn’t bear the sight of Adora hurting that much – even if only because of a nightmare._

_“Mmmph!”_

_Should Catra try to wake her up? Hug her? Talk to her in her sleep? What was the protocol in that kind of situation? She honestly didn’t know – Catra had never gone that far with anyone else, in terms of intimacy, and she was frankly a mess in the emotional department._

_How could she try to comfort someone when she couldn't even find comfort for herself?_

_“Uh…” Catra moved closer to her, still unsure, and gave it a try. She started stroking Adora’s arm with the pads of her fingers. Without waking up, the blonde gasped at the sudden, unexpected touch. Catra pulled her hand back, carefully watching the other girl’s reactions._

_Adora started shaking and twitching on the bed again. Catra took a deep breath and tried again. A little lighter this time. Just her fingertips, running up and down Adora’s arm. “Shhh, it’s not real”, she whispered quietly as not to wake her. “You’re dreaming, princess”._

_Little by little, Adora started to relax under her touch, leaning into it._

_“Mmmph”, she mumbled._

_“Shhh, everything is okay”, Catra said, still caressing her arm ever so delicately._

_Adora turned to her side, facing Catra with her eyes closed, as if blindly following her voice. Catra embraced her, then proceeded to stroke her back. “Shhhh”, she repeated over and over, until Adora’s shivering ceased and her breathing went back to normal. “It’s okay”._

_They stayed like that for a while, Catra cradling Adora in her arms. It was such a comfortable position, she was almost letting herself fall back asleep. Although she was still worried about Adora’s wellbeing, she was also so relaxed. Content. Fulfilled._

_“Catra?”_

_Adora’s blue eyes opened slowly. She searched for Catra’s gaze, still half-asleep._

_“Hey, Adora”, Catra said softly. “Bad dream?”_

_“Uh…” Adora yawned, a little more awake, but not really. “Yeah. Sorry”, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand._

_“What are you sorry for?” Catra asked, both their voices low and drowsy._

_“I woke you up”, she yawned again, adjusted herself in Catra’s arms._

_“You don’t have to be sorry for that, dummy”._

_“Sure I do”, she said with a raspy, ghost-like voice, closing her eyes again. “I still dream about them sometimes, but I didn’t want to wake you up”._

_Catra felt a twinge of grief in her chest, wondering if Adora was talking about her parents. But that wasn’t the time to ask any of that. “It’s okay”._

_“This is nice”, Adora said, nuzzling Catra’s shoulder. “You smell good”._

_“Yeah, I doubt that”, Catra smiled. “But thanks”._

_“I’m not so sexy now, huh?” Adora chuckled, and Catra wasn’t sure if she was awake or if she had already fallen back to sleep._

_“You’re always sexy, dummy”, she whispered slowly, secretly hoping she wasn’t consciously listening while stroking her back again. “Now, let’s go back to sleep”._

_“I just want to make them happy”, she mumbled._

_“You do”, Catra said reassuringly, kissing her forehead and pulling her closer. “You make them very happy”._

_“Okay”. Adora said, as her body finally relaxed in Catra’s arms._

_Catra couldn’t sleep after that. Too much going on in her head and her chest. Too many thoughts and emotions – one of which she recognized. Panic._

_She knew she was way in too deep, falling for a girl with an expiration date. A girl she was “just having fun with”. A girl she wasn’t meant to keep._

_And although Catra had never felt it for anyone else, she knew there was no other word for it, no other verb to define that vertigo kind of rush, no other noun._

_Except for love._

_And that absolutely terrified her._

********

Adora takes the wheel, turns on the headlights, adjusts the navigation system. They hit the road again. If she notices that Catra is a little quieter now, she doesn’t mention it. They are both tired, anyway, after so many miles and so many hours.

The sky turns dark, but the moon and the stars are so bright, it makes an interesting contrast. They should reach Dryl any moment now, then the Waste, and the longest half of this insane journey would be over.

Over.

Catra had forgotten what it’s like to feel so scared.

Scared that it all goes wrong. Scared that it all goes right.

She had forgotten, but she remembers it now.

And yes.

It really is a shame when things like these go to waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. And if you feel like it, leave a comment :) I love going through your thoughts and replying to each one of them.
> 
> Song explicitly featured in this chapter:  
> St. Vincent - New York

**Author's Note:**

> So, of course, if you haven't guessed, Adora's license plate is SH3R4.
> 
> Oh, and I made a fan acc on Twitter, say hello if you want - @almostetherian 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did, give it some love :) And be sure to leave your thoughts, if you wish :)
> 
> There's also this [ playlist with some songs that are featured in the chapters](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3IWJBNAqj9Bi2oBzBdelkR?si=h6JgCYJgQ9K8jo3T9T4c6A) and others that just fit the overall mood.


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